Go Cry Me A River

Hello Readers,
Not too much has been going on. I am still pretty saddened of the loss of Michael Jackson. It’s still so shocking. He was a great entertainer and God defiantly blessed him with much talent. You will truly be missed, Michael.
I just think it’s so funny how people say how much they love and adore music artists and may buy their CD’s here and there…but AS SOON AS THEY DIE…they are getting posters, putting their pictures as backgrounds on their computers, and hurrying to the stores to buy all the CD’s they DIDN’T buy when the artist was alive! I understand you want to get memories but, you were not picking up their albums, posters and what no when they were alive…how are you helping them now that they are dead?
That’s a fan…but to a certain level. Yeah you like the person, you can maintain to listen to their full songs when the come on the radio and if a concert pop up on the TV, maybe, you will watch…I was a Backstreet Boys FAN…HARDCORE! I had every single CD AND cassette tape! Everything I saw them in a magazine I cut it out and put it in a PHOTO ALBUM! (LOL And I took this to college ALONG with my BSB BOOKBAG!) Every time they came on TV, I got a blank tape and TAPED THE WHOLE SHOW (I believe I had 3 full tapes of clips of their videos, shows they did and concerts. I randomly sat and watched them when I was horny for the BSB)! Now, to me that’s a true fan. I didn’t wait until they all died and then went out and got everything their face was on. And you know what…I STILL listen to their music and I am hoping they come together again and make a freakin movie or something cause I will defiantly go see it! Now that’s what a fan is. But that’s just my opinion…
As in my previous Blog, I discussed how I am trying very hard to manage my funds better and to purchase things that are “needed” and not “wanted”. Well, I will like to say, for the first time ever, I have purchased my own Laptop! I got it from QVC and it is a HP Pavilion and it’s 15.4in. The color is gold and it is so beautiful! This is something I need (And wanted) and its all mine! I bought it with my own hard earned money and it felt great! I haven’t been using it a lot yet, because I work so much and when I get home I pass out but I defiantly will this weekend…so can’t wait for that!
Another thing I realized is how fast “associates” come and go (Maybe that’s why there are associates, but you get what I am saying). For those you don’t know what I am referring to…associates are people that you don’t “claim” as your friends…for whatever reasons…maybe you don’t trust them enough, you don’t know them well, you talk every once in awhile…whatever the reason may be…they are not apart of your “real friend” circle. I have had PLENTY of associates in my life. Most of them were because I didn’t trust them and wasn’t going to bother to let them into my life. And others were because I didn’t know them enough and by the time I thought we really good friends…we stopped talking for whatever reason…
One situation that recently just happened was myself being very friendly to a particular person (Female). In the beginning of us meeting, we got along fantastic! People were asking if we knew each other from other place. All of a sudden, for whatever reason, she stopped talking to me. This is someone I talked to everyday so when this happened, it did make me wonder if I did something wrong, which I know I didn’t, so I didn’t let it phase me and stopped worrying about it because I thought maybe she was just going through something and would come around when she wants to (Especially knowing how females can act sometimes. They may hear something and hold a grudge for the MOST childish things). After months of not talking, I finally see her and I said excited, “Hey gurl!” and then she said, without even looking at me, “Hey” and kept walking…with a straight face. “Wow” was all I said in my head. I don’t know what I did or maybe I didn’t do anything. Maybe she just doesn’t want to have that relationship with me as before. I thought we were beginning to become really good friends…I let her know things I really didn’t need to let her know about. I could have sat back and let someone (Someone in particular) make a fool of her, but I didn’t because I value the relationships I have with certain people because of the “good relationship” (Meaning, I don’t find good relationships with people often), but maybe she thought otherwise. But, like I said before, associates come and go. I am very blessed I do have the one great friend who has stayed the longest…from teens to real women…love you Mz. CeCe (LOL).
This is starting to be a long Blog, but I have one more thing to talk about. I laugh every now and then about this because I really think people believe I am a dumb ass and they can get over on me. I just talked about how people will stop talking to you without giving a 2-week notice (Song by Fantasia…Love it!) and there are other people who you cuss out and TELL them you don’t want to talk to them anymore and they CONTINUE TO TALK TO YOU! I fell out with a female because she told someone something…that in which told my sister…that was only meant for her ears. Let’s call this person Dana. Dana is someone I met when I was in middle school…and hasn’t seen her since! I found her on MySpace and we talk every once in a while on there or on Yahoo Messenger. I have never told Dana any personal business of mine…this was the first time (And the LAST). I asked Dana why she told this person my business and that I will never feel comfortable telling her anything else about me or basically anything at all that would come out of my mouth and that I never want to speak to her again. Dana says she never said anything. People, DANA WAS THE ONLY PERSON I TOLD! So, I asked how else would my sister find out? She claims she doesn’t know! And we have this crazy back and forth…back and forth. We then don’t speak for months…she then contact me on Facebook and I have NOTHING to say…she then sends me something on Yahoo Messenger. I start to have simple conversation and she says something smart on why I can’t let anything go and that I am acting “stupid”. That’s when I blew up and said, “If you just tell me, right here and now, tell me the truth…if you told her…I would let this go and never bring it up again.” She then she lied again and said no. Now, maybe its me, but I seriously don’t understand if I tell 1 person something…and it ends up where 2 other people know…that person I told MUST have said something! Am I wrong? Dana fought with me tooth and nails saying this didn’t happen…but, I can’t make anyone tell the truth so, I guess only God and her will know what really happened. The point I wanted to get across is the people who you don’t have a problem with suddenly can stop talking and leave you alone forever and the people you always have the problem with…constantly coming back to bite you in the ass again and again. Can’t win…

Something New, Something Old, Something Borrowed & Something Blue…

This past Saturday, I went to a cousin of mine wedding. it was very beautiful and people were crying…
It just made me realize how much I want to get married! I am in this “Marriage Zone” and I have no idea on when I am getting out! I just believe when you meet someone and you fully commit to someone…not another person matters. Its like me and him are the only person in the world. And I love this feeling!
I am sure people doubted us and didn’t think it would work because of the long distance. People even started rumors stating he was married…but we have almost made it to 3yrs and are stronger than ever!
I want to be with him for the rest of my life. He’s my soulmate…
I can’t wait until its my turn…

I'm Just Not That Into You

Hey Bloggers! So, now that I have a boyfriend, I guess men just love Ms.Vanilla (LOL). I am a very faithful woman. I love my man; we have a great trustworthy relationship. Therefore, I have not and would never cheat on him. That being said, a guy I used to talk to before my boyfriend has gotten back into contact with me via AIM (AOL Instant Messenger). He came right out and said he wants to see me. He lives about an hour away and just moved into another apartment and wants me to see it. Of course, I know how inappropriate this would be so I politely declined, but said we could, maybe, have lunch one day (Maybe meaning never). I gave my reasons on why…that I wouldn’t like my man going out with another woman and vise versa. He then said I was “tripping”…lol…couldn’t believe it. I kept the conversation and would love for my readers to read and let me know…who REALLY was tripping! And yes, I did use his REAL name and of course I am MsVanilla523. And I want you to notice how he tried to bring up why we stopped talking like that was my fault too! Here it goes
Reggie: so would u come up and hang with ya boi for a bit
MsVanilla523: I don’t think that would be appropriate for someone who is in a committed relationship. I wouldn’t want my man to be chilling with some other chick so I don’t do it …I am sure u know where I am coming from…
Reggie: i do
Reggie: But trust is got to be there
MsVanilla523: Oh it is
Reggie: plus im in a committed relationship as well
so whats the big deal
MsVanilla523: I rather not even put myself in that situation
Reggie: we friends
thats it
MsVanilla523: I know. I am not going to come to your apartment but maybe we can meet for lunch or something when u are down here
Reggie: K but u seem to be trippin about that. its not that deep, atleast not to me. but its cool, nevermind.
MsVanilla523: I am not tripping on anything. I have been with my man for 2 and half yrs. I have never even been out with another man before for even “coffee”. I just don’t…I never had a need to…basically because I have no male friends. He doesn’t have a need to go out with women because he doesn’t have female friends. It’s just how it is. I’m not trying to trip bout it…. that how my relationship is with my boyfriend and I respect that. It never has been an issue before, nor do I feel like making it one now. I said we could go out for lunch when u come into town. Is that not enough? lol
MsVanilla523: I’m just confused now…u don’t eat lunch?
Reggie: yea: i told u its cool
MsVanilla523: Lol Alrighty then
Reggie: u trippin
lol it aint that serious
MsVanilla523: lol ok. I guess I am then.I am not going to explain it again
Reggie: no need to
i understand
MsVanilla523: Oh I WASNT GOING TO lol
Reggie: OKAY GOOD
DUH Thats what i said
MsVanilla523: You are EXACTLY the same as I remember lol
MsVanilla523: Man
Reggie: u r too lol
MsVanilla523: Yeah, I still don’t deal with bullshit
Reggie: what the hell does that mean? u sayin im bullshit. wow, lets not go there. i still dont either, thats why we aint go no further then we did when we kicked it lol
Reggie: but its cool
i do understand
MsVanilla523: Wow
Reggie: u happy and im happy
MsVanilla523: Lol
Reggie: and i respect ur boundaries
as crazy as they seem
so
MsVanilla523: All I said was I don’t want to basically go to your apartment and I would rather just have lunch and this is what I get
MsVanilla523: Reggie, I am trying to be nice
Reggie: u went there
not me
MsVanilla523: And respectful to my boyfriend
Reggie: i am to
MsVanilla523: And I really don’t think you want to go there about we stopped talking cause it would hurt your feelings.
Reggie: Ok
MsVanilla523: I am not going to go there
And wasn’t going to bring that up
So
Reggie: i GOTCHU on that
MsVanilla523: I don’t think u should either
Reggie: bring what up
MsVanilla523: Exactly
Reggie: what will hurt my feelings? u musta forgot
why we stopped talking
MsVanilla523: Nooooooooooooooope. Not at all
I remember everything like it was yesterday
Reggie: well i remember on my end
u wanted to screw and i didnt want to go there LOL
MsVanila523: Lol Nope. I was okay with that and I told you that
Reggie: right……thats why u kept askin for it….lol
MsVanilla523: Yes, it would have been a struggle, but I would have gotten over the “no sex” thing….if you were straight with me about it. You never really told me if you were even celibate! I didn’t like how you didn’t even want to ACKNOWLEDGE we were “dating”. I wasn’t seeing anyone else and you wasn’t and we went out…THATS CALLED DATING….and I just didn’t agree that I had to date someone for 8 MONTHS before we got into a relationship…which you wanted to do! What is that? AND we argued too much. I never argue with anyone that I have talked to in the past…but you, therefore, I thought something want right about that. Plus, I didn’t care u didn’t want to have sex…but you didn’t even want to KISS ME…because you didn’t like the taste of another person’s tongue? WHAT? That’s weird when I can’t even kiss the guy I am dating.
Reggie: True
MsVanilla523: So yeah, So that what I said u are exactly the same. You always wanted to have the last word and always made an argument out of anything which u just did. I just said we could go to lunch and u said I was tripping! It seems that nothing makes u happy for some reason.
So that was the whole conversation. I didn’t quite understand WHY he got so mad. Maybe he really wanted me to come over so he could FINALLY hit this…BUT I got a REAL man so he lost those privileges! I just thought this whole thing was too funny and made me realize how happy I am with my man and how I am sooo glad I am not with him.
P.S. I really don’t think he got a girlfriend…who would want to argue constantly over silly shit…NOT ME!

Miss Independent Woman

Haven’t been on here in a while because I have been soooo busy working and making that money! Lot’s all things have been going on in my life and I will be writing future Blogs to explain…so stay tuned.
I just got finished reading an associate of mine blog and I just became so irritated SO MUCH! It was basically about how women shouldn’t stay with men if the men were not “paying them out”. What is that? So, I guess all women today are all gold diggers?
I don’t understand why women have to fall in this stereotype that a woman can ONLY get into a relationship with a man ONLY if he “balling” and paying all your bills. Yes, I am sure it is nice when you don’t have to worry about your finances, but it comes a time in life where you have to look in the mirror and say to yourself “I’m over 21 and it’s time to grow up”. Get a job (Doesn’t have to be a 6 figure one but something would be nice), get your own car and start making and buying your own things. I don’t see how hard that is. I do it and the “adult life” has been working for me just fine! Hell yes, I would like to sit on my ass and watch my reality TV all damn day but making my OWN money and have my OWN, HARD WORKED MONEY in my bank account…PRICELESS!
And what is wrong if a woman has to pay her man’s phone bill every once in a while? Why can’t a man have a woman who likes to spoil her man? Why is it always the man’s role to pay everything? Where was that written in stone? Please, let me know…
I remember I was in my car listening to a radio station about a clip from a “Dr. Phil” episode. The show was basically about married couples who are going through serious problems and need counseling because they can’t handle the recession the world is in right now and thinking about getting a divorce. Are you serious? I think this is the most difficult time most people have EVER gone through and these are the time where we need to help each other the most. I think it’s immature and some people need to grow up. How bout you put aside your cocky, conceited, stuck –up….whatever you want to call it…attitude and help your men out!

Real Talk

Never thought I would have to do it. But I deleted someone’s comments today on my previous Blog I wrote.

Before I got into the body of the Blog, I wrote a disclaimer: I know this is an extremely touchy subject. I will try to make this blog “nice” as possible but please be aware these are my opinions. I am always honest with myself and always want to be honest with my new friends here on Xanga. I feel here I can write about anything. I don’t know anyone personal so I feel like I can really branch out and tell my feelings…tell what my soul is feeling. And I have been.

I never want to upset anyone, but this is my Blog. I always want others to comment and speak what they feel. Even when it’s the opposite. Because I feel we are all adults…some of us young teenagers but everyone still has an opinion. I don’t feel that I should be yelled at and told my opinion or my ways of living my life, or my beliefs is wrong and nor would I ever say such a thing to someone else. Someone did that. He wrote very hurtful things about my beliefs, and it was uncalled for. I don’t like to debate; I don’t like confrontation and I don’t like to discuss certain things because of the fact that’s some things are not debatable (If that’s a word).

Please continue to post comments to my Blogs but please refrain from saying very cruel, hurtful and childish things here because those comments will be deleted and if you take further action, I will block you. If you wish to not read about my thoughts, my feelings and my life, please delete me from your friends list.

I appreciate all the new friends I have made here and all the wonderful, funny and fantastic comments I do receive on my Blogs and please keep them coming. I love reading all your Blogs as well and I will never comment anything rude to anyone. Those comments will be kept to myself…and I will just tell my friends!

I do want to apologize to everyone (Except this particular person) if I did in fact hurt anyone feelings.

Hope everyone is having a great night!

Categories Uncategorized