Category: New Beginning

Moving On…

Published on by KBLeave a comment

I believe I wrote a Blog on last year losing my whole friend circle (It was 3 girls).

Two of the girls we just stopped talking. We were never that close. No blood was shed. Just moved on.

The last girl and I were friends for almost 20yrs. We share a ton of memories, and it ended off something so crazy and small that I am still confused about the whole thing.

Last year, her and I was going through the hardest times of our lives: her mother passed, and my husband was diagnosed with MS and stopped working.

She just moved into a new home and was having TWO 4th of July parties. The first one her husband was having for his coworkers (Which I later found out was his previous coworkers and he recently QUIT his current job out the blue). She called me, without notification, at 8pm to come to the first one because she was there alone and bored. I was home, didn’t want to go but still went. The 2nd one couldn’t attend because I went into work for overtime, which was needed because I was now the sole provider.

I let her know this a couple weeks before because she is absolutely insane about people coming to her events.

After the party, I called to ask how it went.

She acted like she had an attitude and wouldn’t answer my questions. I said OKAY. I’ll call you later.

Couple days went back, and I texted and asked her about something else she was trying to do (I believe it was a class or something) and how it was going. She went off about me not coming to her party and why. I reminded her that I had to work. And she started bringing up so many things that happened years ago. And we basically went back and forth for the entire day.

The years prior, I noticed our friendship dwindling. I knew we would stop talking eventually because I felt like I was outgrowing her, as bad as that sounds. But I just didn’t want it to end like this.

It has now been a year since we spoke, and it has been on my mind ever since. How petty it was, how she could just stop talking to me out of NOWHERE when other “friends” of hers have done so much worse: 1) Stood her up on her birthday, 2) Didn’t even come to her mother’s FUNERAL 3) Constantly lied to her and the list continues. She STILL TALKS TO THESE PEOPLE!

Yesterday was her birthday. I decided I was going to text her, just apologize for the argument (Even though I did nothing wrong) and see where we could go from there…which is probably NO WHERE. I just wanted to have an adult conversation on what happened and leave it. I could never be friends with her again. I really need closure. This has truly been like breaking up with a man. I have never encountered something like this, but it has truly heart me. It has been on my mind and my heart ever since.

I text her a long text apologizing and I even sent it via FB Messenger.

I never got a response.

I even called later that night and it went straight to voicemail. I seriously couldn’t believe she BLOCKED me! I left a long voicemail and that was it…I can’t do anything more.

Almost 20yrs of friendship…because I didn’t come to your party? Not giving me the opportunity to talk to you about it AT ALL?

Like I said, we were growing apart…just crazy how it finally happened…

I believe this is The Most High’s way of letting me know that was the end of that Season of my life. Time to make room for Godly friends that want to be in my life, have Godly conversations with, worship with, pray with and literally won’t be childish!

Time to move on…

Back to Blogging

Published on by KBLeave a comment

Hello!

Been going back and forth in regard to if I want to come back to Blogging.

But I feel like I need it.

I am almost 40 (Next year), married almost 5yrs, smaller friend circle now. Getting along better with my family (If you read my posts from years ago you know what I am saying lol) but I feel like I need an outlet. I feel like I can’t talk to my family, don’t want to tell my friends so why not tell complete strangers on the internet LOL Its 2023, why not? Right??

FIRST AND FOREMOST, Let’s give you guys an update…

Me and that LOSER from Chicago … finally got rid of him after 5yrs…

Sometimes I think back to how I truly wasted so many years and my time with him … almost all of my 20’s.

I was so young, vulnerable, and wanted love so bad. I painted a pretty picture that he was such and good guy, but he was actually horrible to me. Never physical but he was verbal abusive…all the time. It was as if he did not know how to be nice. I soon realized this is not the relationship or life I want. Now that I am older, I realize he was a true narcissist. Living in different states helped and I finally let him go.

Unfortunately, being in a horrible relationship as that for so long didn’t help for the following relationships after.

Took a long time to recover from that and learn how true love is supposed to feel and how couples are supposed to treat each other.

Did not find that true love until 30 years of age.

Been married for almost 5yrs, no kids yet but he is definitely God sent. He is the nicest person ever. Never have raised his voice to me.

Our marriage is not perfect, but it is definitely not like the movies! LOL

Marriage is HARD. We have been together for almost 8yrs in total and I feel like I am still getting to know him and learning things. Its not hugs and kisses every day. Some days I don’t want to chat a lot and other days I am Chatty Kathy lol

He irritates me a lot also. I don’t know why but I don’t like to talk about too much personal things with my family/friends. I feel like when you invite others in your relationships, it doesn’t always end well. Even the smallest thing you can say, can be brought back up later.

A perfect example of this is I told one of my sisters that my husband was lazy years ago. I wasn’t made about it, just mentioned he was a little lazy…this was years ago. She still brings this up for no reason. lol

So here I am, getting back to blogging because I just really need to vent stuff out. Marriage, coworkers, family …

Sit back and enjoy!

13yrs Later … WOW!

Published on by KBLeave a comment

Well … H E L L O!

Found this old blog of mine from over TEN YEARS ago! Went through many of my posts and I just couldn’t believe what I was reading! It literally made me laugh re-living all the situations I went through and even my mindset back then.

My friends, family and co-workers that got on my nerves so much! My INSANE, long distance, relationship with my so-called boyfriend and how I really thought he was the one but in reality, he was the worst thing that could have happened to me. I learned SO MUCH from that relationship and wished I would have done a lot of things differently.

One big thing is TELLING SOMEONE about how he treated me. Confiding in someone… anyone that would have told me that relationship wasn’t right, that is not how men treat their women, that he has characteristics of being a narcissist!

I spent SOOOOO much money and time on this man, going back and forth from Michigan to Chicago and he NEVER EVER EVER stepped one foot in my state to visit me! Not one time in 5yrs.

I finally had enough. I started looking through his phone, looking through his mail (when I visited) to find anything and everything to break up with him. I tried many times before and he would break down and SOB! One time he even threatened to off himself. At this point, I didn’t care. I NEEDED to get out of that relationship. After snooping, I learned so much! He was a bum! Living with his mother (Even though he claimed she gave him the house, but was always there smh), for YEARS never worked! He literally lied about his whole life. From his first name to his age, to even lying about the mother of his child’s age (I found his son’s birth certificate that had the ages of both parents. He basically knocked up a 17yr old when he was in his early 20’s smh. He claimed they were both the same age smh). And to top it off he was MEAN! VERY MEAN! He always made me cry. He knew I was thee most kindest person ever so he definitely took advantage of my kindness and how young I was.

He took my 20’s.

I really wish I could get that time back.

I wish I could go back and save more money, spend more time with my friends and TRAVEL! I hate him for that.

But anyways, I literally wrote about my whole life on this blog…but I will say, I didn’t know this then …but it was SO therapeutic. And I didn’t know this back then how much BLOGGING was really helping me. I was 26, graduated from college, living with my whole family in a small house and was just trying to find out who I was.

I was growing up and letting it all out ONLINE!

I thought I would come back to the Blogging World because of the outlet it gave me.

My Blog is my Therapist, as I lay on the couch and pour out what’s been going on in my life. This Blog is a piece of me .. my inner self. And it gives me peace letting it all out!

I don’t care who reads it, but please come with compassion, positivity and be ready to laugh!

I WILL NOT PUT UP ANY PICS OF MYSELF. This is literally for me to just let it out.

Cheers to the New Chapter in my life (will explain in the next post) and to raising my Blog from the dead!