Category: Relationships

Moving On…

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I believe I wrote a Blog on last year losing my whole friend circle (It was 3 girls).

Two of the girls we just stopped talking. We were never that close. No blood was shed. Just moved on.

The last girl and I were friends for almost 20yrs. We share a ton of memories, and it ended off something so crazy and small that I am still confused about the whole thing.

Last year, her and I was going through the hardest times of our lives: her mother passed, and my husband was diagnosed with MS and stopped working.

She just moved into a new home and was having TWO 4th of July parties. The first one her husband was having for his coworkers (Which I later found out was his previous coworkers and he recently QUIT his current job out the blue). She called me, without notification, at 8pm to come to the first one because she was there alone and bored. I was home, didn’t want to go but still went. The 2nd one couldn’t attend because I went into work for overtime, which was needed because I was now the sole provider.

I let her know this a couple weeks before because she is absolutely insane about people coming to her events.

After the party, I called to ask how it went.

She acted like she had an attitude and wouldn’t answer my questions. I said OKAY. I’ll call you later.

Couple days went back, and I texted and asked her about something else she was trying to do (I believe it was a class or something) and how it was going. She went off about me not coming to her party and why. I reminded her that I had to work. And she started bringing up so many things that happened years ago. And we basically went back and forth for the entire day.

The years prior, I noticed our friendship dwindling. I knew we would stop talking eventually because I felt like I was outgrowing her, as bad as that sounds. But I just didn’t want it to end like this.

It has now been a year since we spoke, and it has been on my mind ever since. How petty it was, how she could just stop talking to me out of NOWHERE when other “friends” of hers have done so much worse: 1) Stood her up on her birthday, 2) Didn’t even come to her mother’s FUNERAL 3) Constantly lied to her and the list continues. She STILL TALKS TO THESE PEOPLE!

Yesterday was her birthday. I decided I was going to text her, just apologize for the argument (Even though I did nothing wrong) and see where we could go from there…which is probably NO WHERE. I just wanted to have an adult conversation on what happened and leave it. I could never be friends with her again. I really need closure. This has truly been like breaking up with a man. I have never encountered something like this, but it has truly heart me. It has been on my mind and my heart ever since.

I text her a long text apologizing and I even sent it via FB Messenger.

I never got a response.

I even called later that night and it went straight to voicemail. I seriously couldn’t believe she BLOCKED me! I left a long voicemail and that was it…I can’t do anything more.

Almost 20yrs of friendship…because I didn’t come to your party? Not giving me the opportunity to talk to you about it AT ALL?

Like I said, we were growing apart…just crazy how it finally happened…

I believe this is The Most High’s way of letting me know that was the end of that Season of my life. Time to make room for Godly friends that want to be in my life, have Godly conversations with, worship with, pray with and literally won’t be childish!

Time to move on…

7yr Anniversary

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This past Monday was my 7yr Wedding Anniversary.

Due to us being on 1 income, this is the 2nd year that we didn’t do anything.

Before my husband went off work, we did an Anniversary trip each year. Things are soooo different now. We do not do hardly ANYTHING anymore! I literally work and come home. The most exciting thing I do now is NOT COOKING and getting take out! lol Which I really need to stop doing because its SO MUCH money for two people to eat now! I am going even more broke doing that. I am really hating that right now.

Marriage is hard work.

When I thought of being married, I knew there would be obstacles, but I feel like I am constantly annoyed by my husband. I feel so bad saying this and it doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with his MS, but HIM.

Since this is a SAFE SPACE, let’s talk about it…

We have been together for 11yrs in total and I was so different when I first met him and he was too.

I wanted to be in love so bad, especially after having so many horrible relationships back-to-back. Meeting my husband was a breath of fresh air because he was extremely nice, polite, caring, a good listener, went to church EVERY Sunday, very respectable of his elderly mother and aunts etc. I was so excited that I found a man that was NICE and never disrespected me. BUT … because of the face that he was so nice to me, it made me overlook everything else that I should have been looking for in a man and husband.

When we first start dating, my husband was very talkative, playful and we just really enjoyed each other. I honestly didn’t know how to be a wife and what to expect from a husband. But, when I got married, the wife role, completely came out so naturally for me. I took over everything. My mother was truly coming out of me. lol She took care of EVERYTHING in the house. Just as my husband’s mother took care of a lot while his father worked (Both of our mothers worked Full Time outside the home as well).

After a year or two of being married, I had the “wife role” down, but as I was getting more into my role, I am learning how and NEEDED more of my husband. And noticed, I was not getting it.

Everyone changes as they grow older. I believe I am changing for the better, but my husband is literally the same as he was when we met and I do not know how I missed it when we dated…

  • No compliments. DEF overlooked while dating. I was so busy telling him how sexy he was, but he never complimented me back. After a year of marriage, I pointed this out and even thought maybe he wasn’t attracted to me. He told me of course he was and that he would try to do better. 7 years later, he hasn’t. Sometimes I think I am literally going to go my whole life without having my husband telling me how beautiful I am, how sexy I am, how he can’t wait to get home and ponce on me. I will never know how that feels and even typing this has me wanting to cry,
  • Not emotionally supportive. I have girlfriends that I gossip with and relied on for “girl talk”. Now that my friend circle is gone, I talk more to my husband…about everything. I could be angry, sad, happy or even really excited and he literally shows nothing. It’s like he’s a robot. And when I get angry because he has no emotion or even an opinion, he gets angry. I do not understand how and why someone can have zero emotions. It’s very frustrating. When I am sad, mad or upset there is zero comforting me, no words, just silence from him. I still dont understand this!
  • No goals, hobbies, interests. I have been trying to work with him since he stopped working to pick up learning about something, a language, reading, even pushing him to play a damn video game! NOTHING. HOW DOES NOTHING INTEREST YOU!??!!?!?!?!? YOU HAVE THE WHOLE BEAUTIFUL WORLD! You have no interest in absolutely nothing?????????????????
  • Yes Man. Due to him being so nice, he never says no. Even when he should! He does not have a backbone whatsoever. So you know what that means? His wife gets to be the bitch!
  • Lazy As FUCK! My husband is what is called an Ooops Baby. His parents did not plan to have him. His siblings are 15yrs and up older than him. His sister told me she used to do ALL HIS CHORES for him. He never had to do anything because he was the baby. But guess what happened as he got older and became a husband? HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING!!!! HE IS LAZY AS HELL!!!!! Literally something will fall to the ground, and he will step over it and not pick it up. Gets an attitude when I tell him to just help me and now that he has MS and can hardly stand, he really doesn’t do fuckin shit!

I have asked my husband about his childhood, his parents, how they were towards each other, how it was in the home, how his father was, how his father treated his mother and was his father “a father” to him. Was he a good role model for him? Did he teach him HOW to be a husband and a father? And the answer is he was in the home as the father, but he was not a role model at all. He was never taught how to LEAD his family, how to make the tough decisions for his family, how to be the protector. He was taught to WORK, come home and his wife will handle everything else! He was not taught how the household should be and maintained.

So now for the past 7yrs, I feel like I am TEACHING my husband how to be a husband. Sometimes I feel like I am talking to my child (I never had kids) and I hate that SO MUCH! Why should I have to tell my husband how to lead our family!? I am so fuckin tired of all the responsibility being on me! I am so tired of making all the gosh damn decisions for both of us!

I HATE BEING MARRIED!

I HATE IT SO MUCH!

I wish someone would have come to me and told me what to look for in a man beyond LOVE!!! It is so much more than being in LOVE! Love goes so far! You need someone that is going to have your fucking back and mentally able to focus on what is best for the family and not second guess! Need a man that is capable to receive the love from you but GIVE IT TOO!!!

But I know I am not going anywhere.

Even with all these flaws … its just that … FLAWS. He is a good man. It is just a lot for me to deal with right now. And I am starting to notice a lot due to me … DOING EVERYTHING!

I played my cards, and this is what I have been delt.

And don’t get me wrong, I am NO WHERE NEAR BEING PERFECT. But this post is about my husband and HIS FLAWS! NOT MINE! lol!

REAL TALK!

I have realized HOW IMPORTANT it is to teach your kids FROM THE START on how to be an adult! FUCKIN PREPARE THEM!!! Because one day they are going to be someone’s wife or husband! And trying to learn that shit after the alter is going to lead to D I V O R C E!!!

I know the grass aint greener on the other side, so I am stuck and going to deal with it!

It is what is it at this point….

Happy Fuckin Anniversary to me …

Praise Break !!!

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Just a couple of days ago, I wrote a post about money being tight.

Yesterday, I opened up the mail to find a check a little over $1500!

Will try to make a long story short: About 5yrs ago, my Husband signed a contract with a company to teach him a new skill (IT) and the contract stated once he got a job in this skill, he would have to pay back a certain percentage of his income back to this company (Unfortunately, my husband never spoke to me about this because he knew I would say “THIS DOESNT SOUND LIKE A GOOD IDEA!!” AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? IT WASN’T!!!). Craziest thing ever right? RIGHT!

Well, my husband signed a contract and QUIT before he even started! SMH. He never reached back out to the company to let them know.

Maybe a year later, the company then TRIED TO SUE US and sent us court documents! That scurred us straight so we got on a payment plan with them and started paying them $350/mnth!

Maybe 6 months into paying them, we got a letter they filed Bankruptcy (GO FIGURE! NOT SURPRISING!!!) and I IMMEDIATELY stopped paying them.

Now, years later, we got a letter in the mail stating this company broke many federal laws! And we got a CHECK!

I was so upset with my husband about signing a contract for something so retarded, but this is marriage! Dealing with bullshit and then having to figure it out! At the time, my husband was working FULL TIME and we were making enough money to pay this bill but it still cut into a lot of things.

I thank The Most High for providing for us this during this whole time of my husband being out of work, due to his MS. From his sister giving us money or his mother giving us a ton of food! He continues to PROVIDE!!!

My faith has gotten so much stronger through this whole transition.

Back to Blogging

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Hello!

Been going back and forth in regard to if I want to come back to Blogging.

But I feel like I need it.

I am almost 40 (Next year), married almost 5yrs, smaller friend circle now. Getting along better with my family (If you read my posts from years ago you know what I am saying lol) but I feel like I need an outlet. I feel like I can’t talk to my family, don’t want to tell my friends so why not tell complete strangers on the internet LOL Its 2023, why not? Right??

FIRST AND FOREMOST, Let’s give you guys an update…

Me and that LOSER from Chicago … finally got rid of him after 5yrs…

Sometimes I think back to how I truly wasted so many years and my time with him … almost all of my 20’s.

I was so young, vulnerable, and wanted love so bad. I painted a pretty picture that he was such and good guy, but he was actually horrible to me. Never physical but he was verbal abusive…all the time. It was as if he did not know how to be nice. I soon realized this is not the relationship or life I want. Now that I am older, I realize he was a true narcissist. Living in different states helped and I finally let him go.

Unfortunately, being in a horrible relationship as that for so long didn’t help for the following relationships after.

Took a long time to recover from that and learn how true love is supposed to feel and how couples are supposed to treat each other.

Did not find that true love until 30 years of age.

Been married for almost 5yrs, no kids yet but he is definitely God sent. He is the nicest person ever. Never have raised his voice to me.

Our marriage is not perfect, but it is definitely not like the movies! LOL

Marriage is HARD. We have been together for almost 8yrs in total and I feel like I am still getting to know him and learning things. Its not hugs and kisses every day. Some days I don’t want to chat a lot and other days I am Chatty Kathy lol

He irritates me a lot also. I don’t know why but I don’t like to talk about too much personal things with my family/friends. I feel like when you invite others in your relationships, it doesn’t always end well. Even the smallest thing you can say, can be brought back up later.

A perfect example of this is I told one of my sisters that my husband was lazy years ago. I wasn’t made about it, just mentioned he was a little lazy…this was years ago. She still brings this up for no reason. lol

So here I am, getting back to blogging because I just really need to vent stuff out. Marriage, coworkers, family …

Sit back and enjoy!

Taking It To The Next Step

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I have been involved with my boyfriend for 3yrs on February 3rd. It has been a great relationship. We have had our rocky times but we have gotten through it together…and lasted. Even though I live in Michigan and he is in Chicago and were see each other once or twice a month, we are still together. Through the hurt (Not too much) and tears (Sad I couldn’t see him a lot).

Now I have come to a place where I am tired of not seeing my man every day. I want to sleep, cuddle, eat and play with him just like other couples do with each other. So I have decided its time. Its time to start applying for jobs, getting interviews and moving there so I can see him everyday! I am already in my process. He has obtained a new job as well which makes it even better.

Another big step I am leaning towards is moving in with him. He still lives in the same home he grew up in. He son stays in his old room. The home is paid for so we would go half on utilizes. I will be saving so much than if I rented my own. And you know what? I’m ready! And so is he. We know this is it and we are going to get married someday. I’m so excited I finally found the one and I feel so loved by him and I’m ready to start my life with him also. It’s just a great feeling and I just wanted to share that with you guys!

I’m extra excited for our Anniversary. I thought about doing something simple…Italian dinner and then off to a jazz/blues club. I also thought about getting something sexy for the night time when we everything is over. Maybe even something real slutty from Lover’s Lane. I told my co-worker and she said I was doing too much! How is that doing too much? Dont every woman do something sexy for her man every once in awhile? Maybe cause she is 40yrs old and pretty old school and dont know nothing bout that…prob havent even done anything like that either! Who knows, but Im going to do what I want!!!

Valued Life Lesson

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I hate losing good friends. I hate losing good friends for stupid reasons. Most importantly, I hate losing good friends because of horrible boyfriends.
I had lots of great friends throughout my college career. One in particular was Shanna. We met my sophomore year and had a lot of things in common. We had the same major and had tons of classes together. I went to dinner with her other friends as well as outings and even to church. She was actually my only Christian friend in college that I could talk to about God. You can defiantly say we were pretty close. We even graduated from college together…sat right next to each other and took pictures.
After college we both went back to our hometowns. We both grew up in Detroit. She still continues to live there but we still lived 15min apart.
Almost 2 years ago, I started my journey on finally getting my license (Yes, I got it at 24yrs old. I was a late bloomer), in which I did, and then started saving my money to buy my 1st car.
Up to this time, my parents and sisters were taking me to and work and they were not happy about it. I was CONSTANTLY getting yelled at because they were tired of taking me everywhere and always asked me again & again when I was going to get my own car. I had only $1500 and got really desperate because I wanted my family off my back so I started asking around to see if anyone was selling cars. Shanna told me about how her new “older” (31yrs old) boyfriend looks for cars and hooks people up all the time. He fixes them up and sales them. So I started calling him and asked him more about this “business” of his because I was now getting desperate for a car and needed help. Because I knew Shanna for 4yrs and I trusted her…I then trusted him.
That was my biggest mistake.
I told her boyfriend of the car I was looking for and my price range. He tells me he finds these cars at auctions and buys, faxes and sales them. He told me if could find me something but at auctions you will need something to put down so he needed $500. Being that I “trusted” him and he knew what he was doing (I knew been to a car auction in my life so had no clue on what went on at these) so I gave it to him. He then tells me he bought a white car (Forgot the name of it) and the price is $1500 and now the mechanic has it and he is doing whatever he needs to do on it.
He then tells me the mechanic needs more money to continue to fix the car. He wants $600. I then tell him I didn’t feel comfortable giving him this amount of money anymore and I haven’t even seen the car yet. So I made him sign a promissory note basically describing the intentions for the funds he is receiving and if I don’t receive a car within another month, I want all my money back. He signs it.
Unfortunately, I never received my car. I started calling him like a stalker ex-girlfriend to give me my money back…even threatened to sue. Her boyfriend continued to lie, lie and lie more about where the car was, that the car was getting still getting fixed, the mechanic broke his hand on something on the car and he couldn’t work (Yeah, I know). He even lied to Shanna and told her he did give the money back to me and she called me right after and I told her hell no!
Shanna felt really bad about the whole situation. She was the one who gave the Go Ahead to his “business”. She said he never did this to anyone before. She then told me she is in a bad spot of being in the middle and doesn’t know how to deal with it. So after that conversation, I stopped calling. It was obvious who wears the pants in that relationship.
So I sued him. He never showed up because he is a coward (And a lot more that I will not go into detail about) so I won. I then could decide how I would get my money back. Of course I wanted to take it from his checks. But I needed all this information in order to do it. And since I didn’t have the info I had to pay more money to do this and that. It just became a drag and a big burden.
Shanna and I friendship began to deteriorate more and more. We stopped talking. Before we stopped completely she even said she will pay me back with her tax returns. I told her that would be nice but that’s not her job. Her man took my money and continued to lie to her face and said he gave it back to me. If you don’t have honesty & trust in a relationship what do you have?
Oh yeah….she also lost her virginity with that piece of shit of a man and became pregnant the very 1st time. So now she is having a baby with a man that aint worth shit! And probably continues to lie to her. A man that will fuck over one of her best friends and don’t even freakin care.
I really wanted to reconcile the friendship I once had with Shanna. Before I deleted my Facebook page, I sent her a message. I wrote how I missed hanging with her and we should do something soon. Of course, it couldn’t be at her place (They lived together) but just go out and hang. She sent me a message back saying she was pregnant again (WTF, this was a girl that never wanted a man to touch her! She has sex one time and can’t stop having babies now, I guess) and of course I was shocked. I told her congrats and gave her my number and for her to please contact me back.
I haven’t changed my number in a year. She hasn’t called yet.
P.S. I eventually got the number of the mechanic that was working on the car (Don’t remember how) and HE actually did hook me up with a great car. It was a 1990 Buick Lasabre and I still drive this car today. I am now looking for something younger! Lol
Unfortunately, I never did get my money back. I just look at it as a very valued life lesson learned…
Never Trust Anyone

He's Out Of My Life (Rated PG-13)

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You ever sit down and talk to your girls or guy friends about past relationships and laugh. Laugh about how you could ever talk to that person because now he is such a loser and not doing anything with his life. Or because she is now the slut of the town and you can’t imagine what interest you ever saw in her? Or maybe you have just grown up so much and can’t even imagine that person was your “type”?
I was talking to my girl today and we were talking about past men we have been with and so glad we don’t even talk to them anymore…
Before I met my boyfriend I was talking to a guy. He name is Reggie (And yes, this is his REAL name!) and unfortunately he was not close to looking like Reggie Bush (Haha) but that is not why I liked (And I use this word very lightly) him.
I met him while I was in college at MSU. He was music major and that was the LOVE of his life…and I am POSITIVE it still is!
We had a class or 2 together and he got my AIM from Facebook (Damn Facebook) and started to message me. He continuously asked me out so finally I said…what the heck, lets get a free meal and get this over with (I know…kinda mean…but don’t act like you never did it). The date actually went pretty nice. He was pretty funny, attractive and had a nice smile. So we began “talking”.
Now, during this time is when I graduated from college and before I got the job I have now. So, I was basically broke as hell and looking for employment. And he knew this when we started talking. After we go on a couple of days he then begins to tell me that he wants to go out to dinner more but I declined because of the fact that I didn’t have any funds and I didn’t always want him to pay. He then tells me how I “need to contribute more to the relationship”. I told him what do you want me to do? Go rob a bank? I am unemployed and B R O K E! And then he starts to make little side remarks saying when I do get a job I am going to need to pay him back!
So, we basically stopped going out to dinner. One day he calls me and says if I have any money to go get something to eat at T.G.I.Friday’s. I say noooo. So what does he do? He goes by himself and then CALLS me from the table while he eats!!! Telling me how good the food is and how he can’t get enough of it. I told his ass to call me later!
Another time, he wants me to come back to his apartment. He lived about an hour away from me near Flint, MI. He picks me up and we are on our way. When we finally get to city (I forgot where he lives) and he is hungry. So he wants McDonald’s. He claims he doesn’t have any money on him, so he asks me if I would care if got something from the Dollar Menu for me. It really wasn’t a big deal, but then he got a big ass Big Mac meal for HIMSELF and SUPER-SIZED IT! Lol We got back to his apartment, and he is SMASHING this food! I didn’t even get a damn drink to wash my shit down with! This is when the 1st thought came through this fella may not be the man for Kristen Renee’!
Maybe I could take him being so freakin cheap if he was laying down the pipe…but he wasn’t CLOOOOSE! I love to talk about sex. Nothing surprises me about it and I am pretty open to a lot of things…but he didn’t want to do anything. You know what all he wanted to do? Kiss and FINGER ME! And when I say kiss…I mean closed mouth and with your lips puckered…yes, like a freakin smooch! He told me he didn’t like the taste of another woman’s tongue. I wanted to ask him, “What are you?” What man doesn’t like a good sloppy kiss! He didn’t eat pussy. I asked him about it and he said, “Pee comes from that”. I almost fell out! And he doesn’t have sex either. This is a 25-year-old man! But then it all came clear. Before me, he only had sex 1 time which was 4yrs prior to me and the person he had it with was a virgin also and I guess somebody did something wrong during cause they never fucked after that! So maybe he was just a little inexperienced and shy…and let me tell you something else…a woman can be fingered so much! I had to fake it just so he would stop! I wasnt into it anymore after a certain point, therefore, I would get dry and I guess he being so inexperienced he didnt know (But who can’t grasp that a woman is not moist anymore) and kept doing it. And I would be sore for a week cause he kept jabbing his damn finger in me so damn hard! lol FUCCCK!
He always asked me what would I do if he told me he didn’t want to have sex and I answered that doesn’t mean anything if I really liked the person and I would respect that. But he never came out and said it. I just wished he was honest because the whole situation could have been better and I defiantly wouldn’t have been talking about sex so much either. Lol
We also argued a lot. Over stupid things. He always, always, always had to have the last word on everything and that irritated me more than anything! I don’t like arguing and I dont like confrontation about petty things.
I was telling my friend I cant IMAGINE how it would be if I was still with him. Well, I know I wouldn’t be. I need more and he defiantly wasn’t doing it. And I am not saying I want to be spoiled and taken out to dinner every night, but I don’t want my companion to be cheap. I am not anywhere near being cheap. If I want something I get it, if I have the money to spare. If my boyfriend needs or want something I will get something for him without hesitation. I need to know if I ever do need something I know I can go to my boyfriend and know he got my back. Nor do I need sex. But damn…is it soo good!
Another thing I believe about relationships is both individuals have to be on the same level when it comes to intimacy. Wheather the couple is both virgins or one is a freak out of this world and the other doesnt like to be touched all the time. It has to be the same. Because if it isn’t, I strongly believe that is when one person starts to have “wondering eyes” and will get it else where…if you know what I mean. I know that is not the truth about every single person in the world but it’s very important in a relationship. I have seen some fall apart because of that 3 letter word. Therefore, even if we stayed together it would not have been right. Yes, I can respect if he wanted to want longer…but how long? I love sex and I think it is beautiful and I am happy I am finally with someone that thinks it is has beautiful as I do. My boyfriend and I are very SATISFIED (I know this is random but do anyone remember that scene from Clueless where Dee is saying her man is satisfied even though they dont have sex…just thought of that for some reason lol) and I know he will never stray away hungry…not for that reason!
Anyways…
And I do hope he has found someone who hates all the same thing he does…I think she will be pretty hard to find, but maybe she’s out there…
Anyone have any past relationship’s that you were sooo glad you let get away? Haha
P.S. Another time we went to a Dollar Show movie…he refused to pay. No lie. And it wasnt a big deal. That was all the chunk change my broke self had at the time…so yes I paid $2 for us.

Little Update…

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Hello Bloggers! I haven’t written a blog in some time. I feel like its been forever…been really busy working and sleeping.
Today is my 2 & half yr Anniversary with my boyfriend. I guess its not really an anniversary…just the half point. I am probably the most romantic person in the world. I love celebrating anything I can. I was actually really excited we have made it this far and of course I wanted my boyfriend to be as well, but to my dismay, he wasn’t at all. He didn’t care…at all. He said that it didn’t really matter to him and what does matter is the actual date we got together as a couple. Which I can understand…but dang…can I at least get that you are happy for us to get to the half point?
My boyfriend has told me since we got together how he doesn’t wear his feelings on his sleeve..which I have still not gotten used to. I still try and talk mushy and want him to say “I love you” everyday but I know its not going to happen and this was another situation we had a little disagreement about but I am not going to get into that. Its kinda weird for me still but that’s the man I fell in love with I guess…
Anyways, I need to get myself back on track when it comes to my dieting. I kinda fell off for a couple weeks. I got my period (I have REALLY REALLY bad cramps on my period and cant really work out. My doc gave my some scripts so hopefully it helps) and then my knee started killing me because of the hard workouts I was doing.
Even though I have been working out for a couple months now, I feel I am still not getting the results I am aiming for. My Doc has been pushing for me to get on Weight Watchers so I am going to finally take her advice and do it. I have done it in the past and it actually helped. My hesitation towards it was primarily because I don’t want to limit myself and not be hungry. But my biggest problem was, I tend to overeat. So I had to nip in the bud and just do it!
So I will let you guys know how it goes…
No other news than that…didn’t have to cuss out any co-workers lately and my Bi-Polar co-worker has been cool too. Lol

My Friend "Other Friend's"

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I had a lot of friends in High School. Some of which I talked to when I graduated and only 1 has stuck with me til this day.
I value friendship very deeply. I have always believed I should have trust, honest and loyalty in that person and she should be able to gain that from me.
For about a year now, I have been noticing my friend going out with her “other friends”. It didn’t really seem to bother me until I realized she never invited me to hang out with her “other friends”. When her and I hung out, it was just she and I and we would go to the bar, out to eat or just hang out at her house. No one else. Nothing big. Just her and I. Which I didn’t mind because we always had a great time together. No drama. Just great alcohol and laughter.
There are so many Social Networks out there today and I was just browsing and found her Twitter site (No, I am not one of those internet stalker chicks that reads people I know Blogs and what-have-you lol) and noticed her saying things that she is going out with old friends, going out to eat and how she had fun doing this and that…and I am thinking, “Why wasn’t I invited? I wasn’t doing anything that night!” I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t annoyed but it did make me a little sad. I just didn’t quite understand why she wasn’t inviting me to all these different events she was going to. I can understand if I was busy, but she never even asked! Maybe she thinks I don’t fit with her “other friends” and she is just trying to hide me…I have no clue. I don’t think I will bring this up with her. I think it will just embarrass me, because maybe I am thinking way too much into it. I don’t want to the whiney girl crying because she doesn’t get invited anywhere. It’s not like that at all.
But, I think it will always be in the back of my mind.
Have you guys ever had this situation happen to you? Different friend clicks even though you are pretty good friends with this person that doesn’t invite you anywhere?

Ex-Lover/Ex-Boyfriend Doesn’t Equal Friends?

Published on by KBLeave a comment
Since I was 18, I have had two boyfriend’s (One is including my current boyfriend) and some guys who were just some hook-up’s every once in awhile. Some people I have lost touch with…not on purpose, but because I may have lost their number or other contact information. My ex-boyfriend emails me every once in awhile just to see if I am still alive and to say hi and that’s about it. I have never had a problem keeping in touch with an ex-boyfriend or anyone that I have had some form of an intimate relationship with. It never really bothered me, nor did it concern me thinking the conversation would be awkward or “mixed feelings” would come back.
That being said, I recently (Recent as in yesterday) came into contact with an old “friend” of mine. At the time, I was single and just having fun in meeting new guys. We only went out on an “official” date once, but had numerous conversations and lots of laughs. We had sex a couple times, but I still considered him being my friend. We were not close to being in a relationship, nor had we discussed it, but in my eyes we were chilling.
During our conversation via Yahoo Messenger, he told me how he was so surprised he was hearing from me. I asked why and he said because of our “relationship”. I told him “Well, yeah, we fucked but we still had good conversations and I thought we was cool” and he agreed but then he told me that he felt awkward talking to me and that he normally doesn’t stay in contact with past “lovers” (This was his word. Didn’t think we were making “love” but I guessed he was trying to be polite and not say fuck buddy) and ex-girlfriend’s.
I then thought “Wow” and told him if he felt that way I won’t have to contact him again. He said okay and that was it.
After our conversation, I felt like he stepped on my pinky toe. I thought we were on a more friends’ basis, but I am assuming from that discussion that I was dead wrong. It goes to show you can have such a great time with someone and have great chemistry and conversation and believes you guys are BFF’s…but in the end that person could be thinking something more different than you will ever know.
It sucked for me for a minute, then I was telling my friend Kyle about it and he pulled me back to reality. He told me to basically fuck him and that I have a great man anyways and I shouldn’t be worried about that. Which is so true.
Just wanted to know of my readers out there…Has anyone made a decision they were never going to talk to past “lovers” or ex’s? How did you come up with this decision? And why?