Tag: Friends

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

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Ever since I was younger, I always wanted to have many friends. I wanted everyone to like me. I loved the idea of having a lot of great girlfriends to go to when I was having problems or just to go out with. In my eyes, having great friends were a necessity because who doesn’t have friends?
As I got older, I noticed how women minds change and they start to argue more than men, gossip and even hold grudges for a long period of time. There are a lot of women who are hard to get along with. I never agreed with this before, but as I get older the more, I believe its true. You never hear men saying “I aint hanging with him because he always talking bout me!” Men don’t do petty shit like that. I am sure there are some out there, but the women are outweighing men in this category. They all hang out and actually get along! Thank God, I have a great and versatile personality where I have never had a problem communicating or getting along with anyone. People love me! I have a great personality, have great communication skills and I very good listener.
I have heard so many times women say they have a lot of male friends for this simple reason: They can’t get along with women.
Why is that? Are you that immature or that stuck up? Are your friends not enough sluts for you or do you keep taking your friends man? Are you a hater and just get jealous easily? Or are you just a plain fucking bitch? I am not calling any particular woman out, but a situation I have had recently just got me thinking about this…
I recently wrote a Blog titled “Miss Independent Woman”. It was about how I don’t agree with women dating men who have money for the simple reason to have them pay for everything. I think people should grow up, make their own money and support themselves (If they can’t financially that’s another story but if someone is deliberately trying to get with someone because of the fact they want their bills paid…that’s a gold-digger). This Blog was a rebuttal from a Blog I read from a co-worker of mine. That was her opinion that she wants a man to pay for everything for her and it was mine to voice the opposite of that. That’s what Blogs are for…to vent and voice your opinions however you like. The url on this site is http://www.livefearconquer.blogspot.com/ so if you don’t like what you read please move on. These are my opinions and my views.
I believe this person read this particular Blog because she stopped talking to me unexpectedly…for months. I was very surprised, because like I said before, I get along with everyone…I don’t have problems with anyone…I don’t argue (Unless I have to) I am pretty loveable…seriously (LOL). So I asked her if I did something wrong and she said I did piss her off but now she is over it…but she won’t tell me what I did. Which I thought was pretty immature. If I have a problem with anyone (Especially someone I thought I was tight with), I would let them know why they made me mad and move on…someone people rather hold grudges and rather ruin something that could have been a great friendship in a mess.
So I decided I am through. I am so tired of reaching out to people who don’t give a fuck. I am 25 and I have great friends (I don’t have much but I rather have a few then a lot of bitches who claim they got my back) behind me, I have my man, family (When they getting on my nerves) and God. That’s all I need. I will continue to be nice and courteous to people, of course, but I am not going to go out my way to hang out with people (Get stood up a couple times, but that’s ANOTHER BLOG PEOPLE), befriend them and they get mad about something so little and petty and never want to talk to me again in life. What’s the point? Seriously. That’s a thing you did in high school. We are grown! I would never stop talking to someone for them expressing their opinions. But then again…I really don’t know if this is the reason…this is a really good guess…because I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary so…if its not my bad (LOL But this has turned into a really good Blog and everything I have said it still true regarding women not getting along with other women).
So I am going to continue to live my life…continue to write what I want and how I want to. Continue to work and make my money and pay my own bills and handle mines!
I am a very open-minded individual and love making friends so everyone is welcome in my world!

Go Cry Me A River

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Hello Readers,
Not too much has been going on. I am still pretty saddened of the loss of Michael Jackson. It’s still so shocking. He was a great entertainer and God defiantly blessed him with much talent. You will truly be missed, Michael.
I just think it’s so funny how people say how much they love and adore music artists and may buy their CD’s here and there…but AS SOON AS THEY DIE…they are getting posters, putting their pictures as backgrounds on their computers, and hurrying to the stores to buy all the CD’s they DIDN’T buy when the artist was alive! I understand you want to get memories but, you were not picking up their albums, posters and what no when they were alive…how are you helping them now that they are dead?
That’s a fan…but to a certain level. Yeah you like the person, you can maintain to listen to their full songs when the come on the radio and if a concert pop up on the TV, maybe, you will watch…I was a Backstreet Boys FAN…HARDCORE! I had every single CD AND cassette tape! Everything I saw them in a magazine I cut it out and put it in a PHOTO ALBUM! (LOL And I took this to college ALONG with my BSB BOOKBAG!) Every time they came on TV, I got a blank tape and TAPED THE WHOLE SHOW (I believe I had 3 full tapes of clips of their videos, shows they did and concerts. I randomly sat and watched them when I was horny for the BSB)! Now, to me that’s a true fan. I didn’t wait until they all died and then went out and got everything their face was on. And you know what…I STILL listen to their music and I am hoping they come together again and make a freakin movie or something cause I will defiantly go see it! Now that’s what a fan is. But that’s just my opinion…
As in my previous Blog, I discussed how I am trying very hard to manage my funds better and to purchase things that are “needed” and not “wanted”. Well, I will like to say, for the first time ever, I have purchased my own Laptop! I got it from QVC and it is a HP Pavilion and it’s 15.4in. The color is gold and it is so beautiful! This is something I need (And wanted) and its all mine! I bought it with my own hard earned money and it felt great! I haven’t been using it a lot yet, because I work so much and when I get home I pass out but I defiantly will this weekend…so can’t wait for that!
Another thing I realized is how fast “associates” come and go (Maybe that’s why there are associates, but you get what I am saying). For those you don’t know what I am referring to…associates are people that you don’t “claim” as your friends…for whatever reasons…maybe you don’t trust them enough, you don’t know them well, you talk every once in awhile…whatever the reason may be…they are not apart of your “real friend” circle. I have had PLENTY of associates in my life. Most of them were because I didn’t trust them and wasn’t going to bother to let them into my life. And others were because I didn’t know them enough and by the time I thought we really good friends…we stopped talking for whatever reason…
One situation that recently just happened was myself being very friendly to a particular person (Female). In the beginning of us meeting, we got along fantastic! People were asking if we knew each other from other place. All of a sudden, for whatever reason, she stopped talking to me. This is someone I talked to everyday so when this happened, it did make me wonder if I did something wrong, which I know I didn’t, so I didn’t let it phase me and stopped worrying about it because I thought maybe she was just going through something and would come around when she wants to (Especially knowing how females can act sometimes. They may hear something and hold a grudge for the MOST childish things). After months of not talking, I finally see her and I said excited, “Hey gurl!” and then she said, without even looking at me, “Hey” and kept walking…with a straight face. “Wow” was all I said in my head. I don’t know what I did or maybe I didn’t do anything. Maybe she just doesn’t want to have that relationship with me as before. I thought we were beginning to become really good friends…I let her know things I really didn’t need to let her know about. I could have sat back and let someone (Someone in particular) make a fool of her, but I didn’t because I value the relationships I have with certain people because of the “good relationship” (Meaning, I don’t find good relationships with people often), but maybe she thought otherwise. But, like I said before, associates come and go. I am very blessed I do have the one great friend who has stayed the longest…from teens to real women…love you Mz. CeCe (LOL).
This is starting to be a long Blog, but I have one more thing to talk about. I laugh every now and then about this because I really think people believe I am a dumb ass and they can get over on me. I just talked about how people will stop talking to you without giving a 2-week notice (Song by Fantasia…Love it!) and there are other people who you cuss out and TELL them you don’t want to talk to them anymore and they CONTINUE TO TALK TO YOU! I fell out with a female because she told someone something…that in which told my sister…that was only meant for her ears. Let’s call this person Dana. Dana is someone I met when I was in middle school…and hasn’t seen her since! I found her on MySpace and we talk every once in a while on there or on Yahoo Messenger. I have never told Dana any personal business of mine…this was the first time (And the LAST). I asked Dana why she told this person my business and that I will never feel comfortable telling her anything else about me or basically anything at all that would come out of my mouth and that I never want to speak to her again. Dana says she never said anything. People, DANA WAS THE ONLY PERSON I TOLD! So, I asked how else would my sister find out? She claims she doesn’t know! And we have this crazy back and forth…back and forth. We then don’t speak for months…she then contact me on Facebook and I have NOTHING to say…she then sends me something on Yahoo Messenger. I start to have simple conversation and she says something smart on why I can’t let anything go and that I am acting “stupid”. That’s when I blew up and said, “If you just tell me, right here and now, tell me the truth…if you told her…I would let this go and never bring it up again.” She then she lied again and said no. Now, maybe its me, but I seriously don’t understand if I tell 1 person something…and it ends up where 2 other people know…that person I told MUST have said something! Am I wrong? Dana fought with me tooth and nails saying this didn’t happen…but, I can’t make anyone tell the truth so, I guess only God and her will know what really happened. The point I wanted to get across is the people who you don’t have a problem with suddenly can stop talking and leave you alone forever and the people you always have the problem with…constantly coming back to bite you in the ass again and again. Can’t win…

Love TV…But NOT Him

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Many people that know me will know that I love watching Reality TV…from The Real World…all the way to Bret Michaels; Rock of Love. It is very entertaining, and I love laughing at ignorant people and then having a full-blown discussion about it with my co-workers, friends and family.
I have finally come across a show I can’t stand. It seriously makes me sick to my stomach and just angry…and no I am not talking about New York Goes To Work. I can’t stand to watch Gotti’s Way.
If some of you have never seen the show, its about Irv Gotti as he tried to reclaim his hip-hop throne. He was the head a Murder Inc. Records. But in 2003, he faced indictment for laundering drug money. He now has a new record deal and on the verge of getting back into the music.
But like I was saying, I used to feel sorry for his wife…ex-wife…girlfriend…who ever she is. Now I don’t. This man is a great father…I give him that…but if someone comes to me and tells me he is not going to stop cheating and doesn’t want to be married anymore because of this…now that’s wrong. She needs to leave him. I don’t care IF he is paying the mortgage. How bout you stack some money, take your kids and leave? I know its easier said than done, but she has been dealing with his shit for years and have been separated for 7. When is enough…enough?
I was just talking to a friend of mine and was telling her my grief with the show and she told me, “She does need to leave him but he keeps it real. A lot of men will cheat on you and not say anything. He keep it 100 with her and that’s why I like it”. I was very shocked by her saying that. I won’t and will never accept men using women just because “he lets her know about himself fucking around”. Does that make it right and a cue for her to stay in a loveless relationship? It’s not right. He’s a hoe and a bitch. He isn’t a real man and maybe one day he will come back to reality and realize his wife was the best thing that ever happened to him.
But she is in the wrong too because she is playing mind games with him. Both of them are playing mind games with each other – and need to admit the marriage is over. Irv wants to have his cake and eat it, too. I don’t care how good a father he is- doing their mother dirty is not being a good father to them, even if she rolls over and accepts it. And Deb is cutting off her nose to spite her face. A part of me thinks she stays with him to punish him for the cheating, but she’s hurting herself just as much, if not more. But I think in her warped mind, leaving him is letting him off easy. She wants the distinct pleasure of making him miserable.
The Gotti family’s dysfunctional relationship adds some drama to us TYV viwers, but it isn’t really that fun to watch, especially when Irv and Deb discuss their problems in front of their kids. Gotti’s Way is an obvious attempt to restore Gotti’s professional and personal reputation. It may appeal to hip-hop fans, the mixed messages it sends about family relationships doesn’t make it an overly positive viewing choice.

My New Hobby

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Little gurls have thought about it.
As a teenager, I have fantasized about it and “played” the part in my head.
Now as a woman, I can’t wait until the Big Day.
Yes, I am talking about my own wedding. It’s a joyous day many people (Not all) can’t wait for. When I was young, I couldn’t wait to fall in love and now that I am in love, I can’t wait for my boyfriend to propose.
The other week I was driving in my car and was listening to Kenny G.’s Greatest Hits (2007) and I came across the song, “Innocence” …and I absolutely fell in love! As I got to work, I told my co-worker about this great song…then it hit me. “I can write all my ideas down so I won’t forget for my own wedding day…IN A SCRARPBOOK! I was soo freakin excited about this I had to tell someone…unfortunately it was a man. After I told him what I have planned to do you know what he told me? He looked straight at me and said, “You should read the Steve Harvey book, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment”. Now, since I was not up-to-date with the latest book releases celebrities are having nowadays so I certainly had no clue on what he was talking about. He then continued to say, “You really need to read this book. I have it and I am reading it and I will let you borrow it.” So now I tell him “That has nothing to do with what I just said…what are you talking about?” My co-worker then went on to say that it’s a really good book and will teach me about how men really think.
At this point, I am getting pretty irritated because I know where this conversation is going. So I begin a new conversation with another co-worker and ask her about this book. She then explains about the purpose:
In Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve lets women inside the mindset of a man and sheds lights on concepts and questions such as:
—The Ninety Day Rule: Ford requires it of its employees. Should you require it of your man?
—How to spot a mama’s boy and what if anything you can do about it.
—When to introduce the kids. And what to read into the first interaction between your date and your kids.
—The five questions every woman should ask a man to determine how serious he is.
So, basically this book is about how men feel about women and commitments. Therefore, my co-worker was referring to a lot of different things:
1) My man doesn’t really love me
2) He is not committed to me
3) He is not ready for marriage
4) Or he was trying to hoe me in front on my colleagues.
Immediately I was offended. All I told this person was that I wanted to started a Wedding Planning Scrapbook and he basically tells me I really don’t know what my man really feels for me…basically he doesn’t love me and this book will give me the signs and reasons why! Who does this guy think he is? How about is he between 43-50. Not married. Maybe…not in a relationship. DOESN’T EVEN BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE…so, therefore, he probably doesn’t believe he should be committed to anyone. And why is he reading this book? Maybe he needs to find out some shit about his own damn self! But he can CERTAINLY preach to me and anyone else that will listen what THEY should do in their relationships. Which is pretty crazy to me.
Let me clarify this…on the record. This Wedding Planning Scrapbook is for me. It’s for my ideas and my thoughts that I want written down. So, when I do become engaged and when I (Because I will) start planning my wedding, I will have everything I need and everything will be in place…I WILL have my colors, my flowers, my music, my table displays, my bridesmaids…EVERYTHING WILL BE IN THIS BOOK! It has nothing to do with my boyfriend, but everything to do with me. Maybe I won’t marry my boyfriend (I hope to God I do) and if I don’t…my Scrapbook will still be with me because it will be what I WANT IN MY FUCKING WEDDING!
I just hope this clarified for everyone out there. I really don’t care about what people think, but this situation really made me angry.
P.S. When I do get engaged…I will also set up a website and will be making ANOTHER Scrapbook that will display my pics of the wedding in a very beautiful way!

Having My Guard Up…

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I have been talked about…
I have had my business told…
I have had my name put through the dirt…
I guess people would say those things are apart of going through life. But does that make it right?
I have a problem of trusting people…but I really don’t see it as a “problem”. People have FUCKED UP so bad with me in the past where now that’s the only option I give myself. I have 3 best friends who I tell EVERYTHNG under the sun to…my boyfriend, and 2 girl friends. I know when I tell these people my personal things, I know they are not going to tell anyone, I know they are not going to judge me and I know they are going to give me their honest opinions. Therefore, I don’t tell my business. If I do, its small things that don’t mean too much.
The saddest part to me is I have 4 sisters…and I don’t trust ANY of them. I have known families where all the children are girls and I have noticed how all of them are so close. But not mine…maybe my sisters are just not close with me. Yes, I get along with them (on occassion) but the day I tell them a serious secret is the day pigs fly…cause it aint going to happen. They either tell each other, my cousins or my mom! And who wants their parents to hear their secrets? It’s fucked up shit and just gives me another reason to keep my shit to myself!
As I grow older, I also notice more and more how,sadly, women are most people who are really fucking everything up. Not all women…but a lot of women! I had this conversation with my boyfriend one time. He is 34 and never in his “adult” life (I dont think his childhood counts…all those stupid things we did) went to a man to tell him another man’s business. It just doesn’t happen a lot with men. Probably because THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCKING SHIT! Women love gossping, we love the drama and we love arguing!
I am going to be 25 next month and if you guys really want to know one truth about me. I can’t stand people talking about me and putting my business out there…I hate it! And the thing is, I am not like that with my friends. If one of them tells me something in confidence I am going to stand by that and don’t tell anyone. I am a God-fearing woman and I try my best to live my life right and to cherish the “real friends” I do have because I don’t have many because of the fact that I DON’T TRUST PEOPLE. That’s the kind of person I am…
I don’t need the drama in my life. I have cut off sooo many people in my life because of their drama. And you know what? It was the best thing I ever did. I have grown, I have matured and I am a real woman. And I think having my guard up is safe for me. I have my best friends and my faith. Thats all I need. Maybe some people don’t think having their guard up is a good thing…but for me it’s the best.

Less Than A Month…

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I am FINALLY going on a vacation. My first EVER. Away from my family…away from my job…far away from MI! In less than a month, on May 10, me and one of my best friends, Carilyn, is going for 4 days on a cruise to the Bahamas!

I am sooo freakin excited! This is going to be my first time on a plane and a boat! I just hope I don’t have a freakin panic attack!

I hear its hot as hell there so now I am buying all the cutest dresses and bags to match! Can’t wait!!!

Yay!!!

Stuck In The Middle

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The other day I had to tell a really good friend of mine (Whom is also my co-worker) the guy she was dating at one point was engaged when they were dating and he is now married. I have never been in a situation like that before.

How do you tell someone that person they had been falling in love with pushed them away because their wedding date was nearing?

How can you tell someone their whole relationship with this person was a lie?

It was really sad for me and I felt horrible for her. I was in a tough spot by knowing this information and knowing I needed to tell her. I found out he was engaged at the end of their relationship (He and my friend) together and then he got married right after he told her it was over. I confronted this to him and told him he was a dog. Of course, he said he wasn’t and not to tell her because it would break her heart (Yeah, into a million peices). So, I thought since they weren’t talking anymore and that it was over she wouldn’t have to know and she could go on and meet someone better and forget about him. Then I found out…THEY ARE STILL TALKING! He’s telling her he misses her and he loves her…and then tells her not to tell me anything else because I am nosey!

I’m nosey!?!?

So I went to her and told her the one thing he wanted me to shut up about…his little secret! I told her she shouldn’t talk to him anymore and that he’s a dog and he’s not for her. She wanted to know why…and I told her…

Wanna know the tougest part about this…the guy is my cousin!

It makes me wonder how men can really be (Yeah, I know women can be the same way) He basically cheated on his fiance’ the whole time and then married her! What kind of marriage is that? How can ANYONE love someone where you cheat on that person the whole time and why would you dare marry her?

Someone else told me not to get in the middle of it and that it wasn’t my business. What would you guys have done if it was your friend? Could you honestly sit back and act like nothing is wrong and when she talks about him disregard what your conscience is telling you that this guy is MARRIED!

The funny thing is (Well, not so funny) if me and her didn’t meet and work and I didn’t find out she was dating my cousin, he would have gotten away with this. She would never have known unless something was different in their relationship. Which it wasn’t because they were still talking.

I now have a different view towards my “cousin”. He’s an idiot, a liar and a bitch. He’s not a man and still has a hell of a lot of growing up to do…









Until next time….