Tag: kids

As we all know, this past Sunday was Father’s Day.

I do not have children of my own, but my husband has two from a previous marriage: 23yr old young lady and 21yr old young man.

My husband and I live pretty far from his kids…about 45min-1hr. But they live closer to my mother-in-law, so we usually go over her house, so they don’t have to drive far.

Last year, his daughter did not see my husband at all. We later found out she went to Cedar Point instead.

This year, neither of them came by.

His daughter texted him “Happy Father Day” and his son called and had a 5min conversation with him. Said he had a gift; he was at work at that was that.

I honestly felt very bad for my husband. Even 2 days later to make this post.

My hubby didn’t have the best relationship with their mother. They got married very young (early 20’s) and they only lasted 2yrs. It was a lot of hating towards each other, arguing, telling a lot of lies to the kids to the point where they refused to even come to their dad’s and I wedding! And at this point, they were divorced over a decade!

To make things even worse, their mother became ill with Breast Cancer. She did not make this known to the father of her kids but kept it quiet. The kids refused to discuss anything, and we literally did not know until she was on her death bed. We only discovered what was going on due to the mother’s husband putting a Go Fund Me on FB. She passed away 5months after my husband and I got married.

That was almost 7yrs ago (I have been with my husband for a total of 10yrs).

We do know the oldest daughter is in Therapy. We do not know WHY, but she said it is helping.

From the conversations I have had with my husband’s mother and sister, their mother caused a lot of trauma for the kids. Lots of lies and hatred for their dad and it has definitely spilled over to the kids.

BUT, these are no longer kids. They are young adults, living in their own place, working, paying bills etc.

I was never in a 1 parent household, so I don’t know the dynamics and trauma that can come from that. But I would think after having a parent pass away and 1 left, that would bring a stronger bound between the children and the living parent.

They do see their dad but not as much. But, I get it. Everyone has lives and things to do. Especially since they are young, they are both traveling with friends, relationships etc. But I would think due to their dad being diagnosed with MS last year, they would call more, come see him, make sure he’s okay, if WE ARE OKAY and not homeless due to him not working for almost 2 yrs … SOMETHING! And it has been hardly anything.

I am going to take it as kids being kids. When you are young, you are not caring about parents and what’s REALLY important in life. You are not trying to hang with your parents, even for an hour. You rather have fun.

It just makes me sad for my husband.

Next year…we are going to see my dad.

I am not putting off spending time with my father (On Father’s Day) another year to make sure they see their dad (Due to MS, my husband no longer drives), which is what I have done for the last 2 yrs….and they don’t even show up.

I am learning I am expecting way too much from people.

I expect from people what I deliver in myself … and that is compassion and appreciation of others time and effort.

Going forward, I am going to expect the worse so I no longer will feel let down. I should have done this a LONNNNG TIME AGO!