Tag: Multiple Sclerosis

Laugh To Not Cry

Published on by KBLeave a comment

Things have still been tough.

Money is extremely tight right now. Tighter than I want to believe.

Sometimes I buy little things that I was used to buying when my husband was working. Then I realize AFTER, we may not have enough money for food or a bill.

I now have to track EVERYTHING.

Each transaction from my bank account.

I hate it.

I hate not having money to buy things. I haven’t brought a new bra in 2yrs.

I try to work at least 10hrs of overtime. I realized when I do, I don’t have to worry too much and even have some money to save. I literally had to cut everything: Cancelled gym membership, cancelled subscriptions, stopped going out to eat, grocery shop every 3 days to make sure I only get food we are going to eat, stopped buying clothes, stopped traveling and we really don’t go to any events, so I won’t burn my gas.

We literally only have money for food and bills.

Still waiting on approval for his Social Security. Praying every day, he gets it. Oh that back pay we will get!!!

I have caught myself feeling like I can’t do this, I am tired of working so much and I want be able to do things and enjoy life.

I have to keep reminding myself this is too shall pass. We are in the trenches right now, but our Faith is BIGGER than our FEAR.

I have to keep reminding myself that my husband is the one with MS. How does HE feel? He is the one having trouble walking, sitting at home all day, every day, no one is calling him at all (Not even his kids or friends. My dad and his mother are thee only people that have called) His 2 kids have not come over once to see him and called a couple of times in the almost 2yrs he has been out of work. But he is still happy, not depressed and smiles. He didn’t ask God to give him MS so he can sit at home and not do anything to help his family.

It can be a lot worse, but we are making it. We can’t do a lot of things we used to do but it wont be like this for forever,

I have thought about seeing a therapist because I have so many feelings and literally don’t have anyone to talk to..hence why I came back to blogging. My family never ask how we are doing. I understand everyone has their own lives and dealing with things.

It is tough but we will get through this ❤

Life Update

Published on by KBLeave a comment

I have been so bad with this Blog, but have so much to talk about…

The biggest update…my husband started to have numbness in hands, legs and feet, tingling, back pain then started having trouble walking.

In December of last year, he started falling…a lot.

He works as a Maintenance Technician and due to his job being so demanding, he stopped working until we found out what was going on.

4 months later, 4 Specialists, 5 MRI’s and after a ton of blood work, we are finally getting to a diagnosis…which is unfortunately, Mutiple Sclerosis. He hasn’t been OFICIALLY diagnosed, but the MS Specialist gave us pamphlets to look over for treatment. She ordered another set of bloodwork to rule out anything other diseases.

Unfortunately, my husband did not add Short Term Disability on his insurance when he was hired so he has had ZERO income, and everything is now on me. We did not know he was going to be out of work for this amount of time, so we just applied for Social Security/Disability which could take a year to even approve!

I have just been so sad. I am sad for my husband to see him so sick and I am scared that eventually out bills are going to catch up to us.

My so-called friends haven’t reached out to see how he is doing and that really makes me annoyed and angry!

We have been married for 5yrs and I just didn’t expect to go through this “sickness” this early on in our marriage, but just goes to show us how quickly LIFE can turn around on you. He is only 47 and, on a walker, right now.

We go back to the Dr. next week and I am praying we get the diagnosis, discuss treatment and schedule when he can start so he can start feeling better.

A 47yr old man does not deserve to live his life on a walker.

The good thing about MS is that it’s not a death sentence and treatment has come a long way. People can still live a good life and I am determined to have that for my husband. 🙂