Tag: Relationships

Moving On…

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I believe I wrote a Blog on last year losing my whole friend circle (It was 3 girls).

Two of the girls we just stopped talking. We were never that close. No blood was shed. Just moved on.

The last girl and I were friends for almost 20yrs. We share a ton of memories, and it ended off something so crazy and small that I am still confused about the whole thing.

Last year, her and I was going through the hardest times of our lives: her mother passed, and my husband was diagnosed with MS and stopped working.

She just moved into a new home and was having TWO 4th of July parties. The first one her husband was having for his coworkers (Which I later found out was his previous coworkers and he recently QUIT his current job out the blue). She called me, without notification, at 8pm to come to the first one because she was there alone and bored. I was home, didn’t want to go but still went. The 2nd one couldn’t attend because I went into work for overtime, which was needed because I was now the sole provider.

I let her know this a couple weeks before because she is absolutely insane about people coming to her events.

After the party, I called to ask how it went.

She acted like she had an attitude and wouldn’t answer my questions. I said OKAY. I’ll call you later.

Couple days went back, and I texted and asked her about something else she was trying to do (I believe it was a class or something) and how it was going. She went off about me not coming to her party and why. I reminded her that I had to work. And she started bringing up so many things that happened years ago. And we basically went back and forth for the entire day.

The years prior, I noticed our friendship dwindling. I knew we would stop talking eventually because I felt like I was outgrowing her, as bad as that sounds. But I just didn’t want it to end like this.

It has now been a year since we spoke, and it has been on my mind ever since. How petty it was, how she could just stop talking to me out of NOWHERE when other “friends” of hers have done so much worse: 1) Stood her up on her birthday, 2) Didn’t even come to her mother’s FUNERAL 3) Constantly lied to her and the list continues. She STILL TALKS TO THESE PEOPLE!

Yesterday was her birthday. I decided I was going to text her, just apologize for the argument (Even though I did nothing wrong) and see where we could go from there…which is probably NO WHERE. I just wanted to have an adult conversation on what happened and leave it. I could never be friends with her again. I really need closure. This has truly been like breaking up with a man. I have never encountered something like this, but it has truly heart me. It has been on my mind and my heart ever since.

I text her a long text apologizing and I even sent it via FB Messenger.

I never got a response.

I even called later that night and it went straight to voicemail. I seriously couldn’t believe she BLOCKED me! I left a long voicemail and that was it…I can’t do anything more.

Almost 20yrs of friendship…because I didn’t come to your party? Not giving me the opportunity to talk to you about it AT ALL?

Like I said, we were growing apart…just crazy how it finally happened…

I believe this is The Most High’s way of letting me know that was the end of that Season of my life. Time to make room for Godly friends that want to be in my life, have Godly conversations with, worship with, pray with and literally won’t be childish!

Time to move on…

7yr Anniversary

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This past Monday was my 7yr Wedding Anniversary.

Due to us being on 1 income, this is the 2nd year that we didn’t do anything.

Before my husband went off work, we did an Anniversary trip each year. Things are soooo different now. We do not do hardly ANYTHING anymore! I literally work and come home. The most exciting thing I do now is NOT COOKING and getting take out! lol Which I really need to stop doing because its SO MUCH money for two people to eat now! I am going even more broke doing that. I am really hating that right now.

Marriage is hard work.

When I thought of being married, I knew there would be obstacles, but I feel like I am constantly annoyed by my husband. I feel so bad saying this and it doesn’t have ANYTHING to do with his MS, but HIM.

Since this is a SAFE SPACE, let’s talk about it…

We have been together for 11yrs in total and I was so different when I first met him and he was too.

I wanted to be in love so bad, especially after having so many horrible relationships back-to-back. Meeting my husband was a breath of fresh air because he was extremely nice, polite, caring, a good listener, went to church EVERY Sunday, very respectable of his elderly mother and aunts etc. I was so excited that I found a man that was NICE and never disrespected me. BUT … because of the face that he was so nice to me, it made me overlook everything else that I should have been looking for in a man and husband.

When we first start dating, my husband was very talkative, playful and we just really enjoyed each other. I honestly didn’t know how to be a wife and what to expect from a husband. But, when I got married, the wife role, completely came out so naturally for me. I took over everything. My mother was truly coming out of me. lol She took care of EVERYTHING in the house. Just as my husband’s mother took care of a lot while his father worked (Both of our mothers worked Full Time outside the home as well).

After a year or two of being married, I had the “wife role” down, but as I was getting more into my role, I am learning how and NEEDED more of my husband. And noticed, I was not getting it.

Everyone changes as they grow older. I believe I am changing for the better, but my husband is literally the same as he was when we met and I do not know how I missed it when we dated…

  • No compliments. DEF overlooked while dating. I was so busy telling him how sexy he was, but he never complimented me back. After a year of marriage, I pointed this out and even thought maybe he wasn’t attracted to me. He told me of course he was and that he would try to do better. 7 years later, he hasn’t. Sometimes I think I am literally going to go my whole life without having my husband telling me how beautiful I am, how sexy I am, how he can’t wait to get home and ponce on me. I will never know how that feels and even typing this has me wanting to cry,
  • Not emotionally supportive. I have girlfriends that I gossip with and relied on for “girl talk”. Now that my friend circle is gone, I talk more to my husband…about everything. I could be angry, sad, happy or even really excited and he literally shows nothing. It’s like he’s a robot. And when I get angry because he has no emotion or even an opinion, he gets angry. I do not understand how and why someone can have zero emotions. It’s very frustrating. When I am sad, mad or upset there is zero comforting me, no words, just silence from him. I still dont understand this!
  • No goals, hobbies, interests. I have been trying to work with him since he stopped working to pick up learning about something, a language, reading, even pushing him to play a damn video game! NOTHING. HOW DOES NOTHING INTEREST YOU!??!!?!?!?!? YOU HAVE THE WHOLE BEAUTIFUL WORLD! You have no interest in absolutely nothing?????????????????
  • Yes Man. Due to him being so nice, he never says no. Even when he should! He does not have a backbone whatsoever. So you know what that means? His wife gets to be the bitch!
  • Lazy As FUCK! My husband is what is called an Ooops Baby. His parents did not plan to have him. His siblings are 15yrs and up older than him. His sister told me she used to do ALL HIS CHORES for him. He never had to do anything because he was the baby. But guess what happened as he got older and became a husband? HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING!!!! HE IS LAZY AS HELL!!!!! Literally something will fall to the ground, and he will step over it and not pick it up. Gets an attitude when I tell him to just help me and now that he has MS and can hardly stand, he really doesn’t do fuckin shit!

I have asked my husband about his childhood, his parents, how they were towards each other, how it was in the home, how his father was, how his father treated his mother and was his father “a father” to him. Was he a good role model for him? Did he teach him HOW to be a husband and a father? And the answer is he was in the home as the father, but he was not a role model at all. He was never taught how to LEAD his family, how to make the tough decisions for his family, how to be the protector. He was taught to WORK, come home and his wife will handle everything else! He was not taught how the household should be and maintained.

So now for the past 7yrs, I feel like I am TEACHING my husband how to be a husband. Sometimes I feel like I am talking to my child (I never had kids) and I hate that SO MUCH! Why should I have to tell my husband how to lead our family!? I am so fuckin tired of all the responsibility being on me! I am so tired of making all the gosh damn decisions for both of us!

I HATE BEING MARRIED!

I HATE IT SO MUCH!

I wish someone would have come to me and told me what to look for in a man beyond LOVE!!! It is so much more than being in LOVE! Love goes so far! You need someone that is going to have your fucking back and mentally able to focus on what is best for the family and not second guess! Need a man that is capable to receive the love from you but GIVE IT TOO!!!

But I know I am not going anywhere.

Even with all these flaws … its just that … FLAWS. He is a good man. It is just a lot for me to deal with right now. And I am starting to notice a lot due to me … DOING EVERYTHING!

I played my cards, and this is what I have been delt.

And don’t get me wrong, I am NO WHERE NEAR BEING PERFECT. But this post is about my husband and HIS FLAWS! NOT MINE! lol!

REAL TALK!

I have realized HOW IMPORTANT it is to teach your kids FROM THE START on how to be an adult! FUCKIN PREPARE THEM!!! Because one day they are going to be someone’s wife or husband! And trying to learn that shit after the alter is going to lead to D I V O R C E!!!

I know the grass aint greener on the other side, so I am stuck and going to deal with it!

It is what is it at this point….

Happy Fuckin Anniversary to me …

Invite vs No Invite

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Recently my cousin graduated with her Doctorate and had a Grad Party, yesterday.

Three of my sisters and my mother were invited.

I never got an invite.

Have you felt offended you were not invited to an event, even though you KNEW you were not going to go even if you were invited?

THIS IS ME! LOL!!!

I haven’t gone hardly ANYWHERE in almost 2yrs. I work and go home. We are VERY limited with our funds due to my husband not working. Sometimes I don’t even want to waste gas to go somewhere. Yes, it’s that serious.

But I guess what hurts is that I feel like no one is thinking about me. Like I am forgotten. Of course, I want to go places, celebrate my family/friends’ achievements, their next Chapter in their lives etc. It’s not like I am a hater and envious. At this time, I just haven’t been feeling it…

So, I am just in my feelings a little. Even though I knew I probably wouldn’t go if she invited me.

Maybe it’s also because these last few years have also been lonely.

When someone gets sick, you really see who your true family/friends are because the calls/text stop when you can’t go out like you used to, when you are working more to pay bills, when you just don’t have any money to go out to dinner. People don’t check up on you anymore. They find other people that can actually hang out with them.

I had a very small friend circle, and I lost all of them around the same time. Two of them literally stopped inviting me places when I told them my husband had MS. I just don’t understand why…this REALLY hit me hard. More than I care to admit. This happened a year ago and I still think about it, and it still hurts. I think mostly because we did not have a falling out, nothing. Just stopped calling, inviting me places and of course they posted it on FB.

The even more crazy part is one of them texted me maybe 5months later asking if everything was okay because she hadn’t heard from me. I told her “Oh I have been working SO MUCH…Just doing a lot of overtime”. She said OKAY and that was it. THAT WAS IT. Didn’t ask about my husband, how I was doing. Nothing. I just expect MORE from people I call friends.

I am learning not to take things personally. There are a lot of reasons why people are not invited places. This cousin and I were not close at all so…maybe she invited relatives she was close to …

This will be the last time I think about it, and I will be moving on…like everything else…

Father’s Day

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As we all know, this past Sunday was Father’s Day.

I do not have children of my own, but my husband has two from a previous marriage: 23yr old young lady and 21yr old young man.

My husband and I live pretty far from his kids…about 45min-1hr. But they live closer to my mother-in-law, so we usually go over her house, so they don’t have to drive far.

Last year, his daughter did not see my husband at all. We later found out she went to Cedar Point instead.

This year, neither of them came by.

His daughter texted him “Happy Father Day” and his son called and had a 5min conversation with him. Said he had a gift; he was at work at that was that.

I honestly felt very bad for my husband. Even 2 days later to make this post.

My hubby didn’t have the best relationship with their mother. They got married very young (early 20’s) and they only lasted 2yrs. It was a lot of hating towards each other, arguing, telling a lot of lies to the kids to the point where they refused to even come to their dad’s and I wedding! And at this point, they were divorced over a decade!

To make things even worse, their mother became ill with Breast Cancer. She did not make this known to the father of her kids but kept it quiet. The kids refused to discuss anything, and we literally did not know until she was on her death bed. We only discovered what was going on due to the mother’s husband putting a Go Fund Me on FB. She passed away 5months after my husband and I got married.

That was almost 7yrs ago (I have been with my husband for a total of 10yrs).

We do know the oldest daughter is in Therapy. We do not know WHY, but she said it is helping.

From the conversations I have had with my husband’s mother and sister, their mother caused a lot of trauma for the kids. Lots of lies and hatred for their dad and it has definitely spilled over to the kids.

BUT, these are no longer kids. They are young adults, living in their own place, working, paying bills etc.

I was never in a 1 parent household, so I don’t know the dynamics and trauma that can come from that. But I would think after having a parent pass away and 1 left, that would bring a stronger bound between the children and the living parent.

They do see their dad but not as much. But, I get it. Everyone has lives and things to do. Especially since they are young, they are both traveling with friends, relationships etc. But I would think due to their dad being diagnosed with MS last year, they would call more, come see him, make sure he’s okay, if WE ARE OKAY and not homeless due to him not working for almost 2 yrs … SOMETHING! And it has been hardly anything.

I am going to take it as kids being kids. When you are young, you are not caring about parents and what’s REALLY important in life. You are not trying to hang with your parents, even for an hour. You rather have fun.

It just makes me sad for my husband.

Next year…we are going to see my dad.

I am not putting off spending time with my father (On Father’s Day) another year to make sure they see their dad (Due to MS, my husband no longer drives), which is what I have done for the last 2 yrs….and they don’t even show up.

I am learning I am expecting way too much from people.

I expect from people what I deliver in myself … and that is compassion and appreciation of others time and effort.

Going forward, I am going to expect the worse so I no longer will feel let down. I should have done this a LONNNNG TIME AGO!

No Friends

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I am back!

I keep telling myself I need to come back to blogging…here I am!

So much has been going on! I don’t even know where to start!

Let’s start here…I feel like I have no friends…

I have never had a huge friend circle. Never been that “popular” girl or that girl everyone wanted to be friends with…BUT, I wasn’t that “loser” girl either LOL

Always had a small circle.

The problem with a small circle of friends is sooner or later, you’re the last one in the circle, if you know what I mean.

I feel like the BIGGEST reason is I am outgrowing my friendships. I have 3 friends; they all have kids (I am the only without) and 2 of us are married. I will be 40yrs old in May, I love doing more things with my husband now, especially traveling. The ONE trip I did go on with one of my friends was a complete disaster and I absolutely hated it! That made me never want to go on another trip with any of my friends lol

Recently, my husband has been having back pain, trouble walking, numbness .. where he had to go off work while he undergoes tests to see what is going on.

You think any of my “friends” have been checking on me?

I texted one of my friends a few weeks ago and checked up on her because she was studying to be an Insurance Agent and you know what she said back? She DIDNT answer my question but questioned WHY I didn’t wish her son who just turned ONE a Happy Birthday … this is her THIRD SON. TURNED O N E. Well, excuse the fuck out of me for forgetting!? WTF! Have you checked on me and my sanity to make sure I am good while I am thee only one working and taking care of absolutely everything!

I just feel so alone. And this is why I have come back to Blogging. I need this outlet.

Marriage is H A R D

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Here I am you guys!

I still was trying to determine if I was going to come back to this Blog but I feel like I need it! I need this Safe Space…I have SO MUCH to say…so here goes…

I will be married for 5yrs this September…together in total for over 8yrs.

We haven’t had any big problems that you may see in a lot of relationships…until recently.

Both my husband and I are extremely easy going. We don’t let anything get to us. I may let some folks push my buttons, but nothing insane. We have not had ANY CRAZY BLOW OUT fights. He is truly such a nice guy. He is so sweet, patient, hardworking and he has never once even yelled at me in the 8yrs we have been together. Not ONCE. Have I yelled at him? Yes. Because he DOES do stupid things and has made some stupid decisions recently that has truly made me go OFF THE HINGES!

One of these situations was that about 3-4yrs ago. My husband decided he wanted to change careers and wanted to find something in IT (Information Technology). He found a company that would teach him everything about IT. After he was finished taking their classes, they will find them a job in the field. BUT, the gag is … once they get a job, they have to give the company back 30% of their pay for a certain time period. If not, $30k has to be paid back to the company for all the resources they used to teach that individual that signed up. Isn’t that insane?

They make you sign a contract, which my husband did. Unfortunately, after the FIRST DAY, my husband realized it wasn’t for him and just stopped taking the classes. Didn’t even say anything to the company. Just stopped.

To make a long story short, they tried to sue him since he failed to adhere to the contract he signed!

Of course I asked my husband about this once we got COURT DOCUMENTS in the mail and he had the most blank face! I sprung into action and got on the phone with the CEO and asked what we can do. He gave us an option (Judgement) to pay $350/mth and lowered the balance $5000 to pay back $25K in full.

Last year, we got an email and letters in the mail that the company is going through Bankruptcy, THANK GOD! We paid for almost a year though! I had to sit my husband down and talk to him like he was my damn son that what he does can damage not only him but ME and our FINANCES!! He never once told me about this company, signing a contract or anything. Probably because he know I would have said it was a horrible idea! WHICH IT WAS!!!

When I met my husband, he was a bubble of sunshine, he joked and talked nonstop. A year after we got married it all stopped. I noticed, his and my family noticed. I seriously was thinking he was going through a depression. I constantly asked him what was wrong and he said nothing…he literally says he doesn’t have anything say… which I don’t understand!

This was 4yrs ago. He has gotten a little better but now I have just gotten used to the “new” him.

Now, as of YESTERDAY, he had a Summer BBQ at his job. I made a Cheesy Potato Casserole and was SO EXCITED to see how his coworkers liked it because I don’t cook for other people…

This man came home fucking drunk out of his mind. Not only THAT, but he DROVE HOME DRUNK!!!

I WAS FUCKIN LIVID!!

Once he got out his car, he could barely WALK! He also kept falling asleep before he got out the car! I don’t even know how he got home!

I was not even mad he was drunk. I was made he DROVE HOME DRUNK!

There are TOO MANY WAYS TO GET HOME SAFE than to drive yourself home and risking the lives of himself or other people!!!

I have a cousin that lost her 12yr old daughter 7yrs ago to a drunk driver and my husband knows this. HE WENT TO THE FUNERAL!

I yelled, and cried at him for over an hour. I was and still am so disgusted that I am married to someone that will make such a senseless decision as drunk driving. I am still sick to my stomach and hardly have spoken to him even today,

I thank The Most High, he got home safe, no one was injured and he didn’t get pulled over as he is a BLACK MAN that works in a predominately WHITE city.

I am going to be seeking the services of a Marriage Therapist next week. Marriage is hard. This is not what I thought it would be but I love my husband enough to get counseling before anything worse happens. I am praying she can get something out of him that I can’t.

Back to Blogging

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Hello!

Been going back and forth in regard to if I want to come back to Blogging.

But I feel like I need it.

I am almost 40 (Next year), married almost 5yrs, smaller friend circle now. Getting along better with my family (If you read my posts from years ago you know what I am saying lol) but I feel like I need an outlet. I feel like I can’t talk to my family, don’t want to tell my friends so why not tell complete strangers on the internet LOL Its 2023, why not? Right??

FIRST AND FOREMOST, Let’s give you guys an update…

Me and that LOSER from Chicago … finally got rid of him after 5yrs…

Sometimes I think back to how I truly wasted so many years and my time with him … almost all of my 20’s.

I was so young, vulnerable, and wanted love so bad. I painted a pretty picture that he was such and good guy, but he was actually horrible to me. Never physical but he was verbal abusive…all the time. It was as if he did not know how to be nice. I soon realized this is not the relationship or life I want. Now that I am older, I realize he was a true narcissist. Living in different states helped and I finally let him go.

Unfortunately, being in a horrible relationship as that for so long didn’t help for the following relationships after.

Took a long time to recover from that and learn how true love is supposed to feel and how couples are supposed to treat each other.

Did not find that true love until 30 years of age.

Been married for almost 5yrs, no kids yet but he is definitely God sent. He is the nicest person ever. Never have raised his voice to me.

Our marriage is not perfect, but it is definitely not like the movies! LOL

Marriage is HARD. We have been together for almost 8yrs in total and I feel like I am still getting to know him and learning things. Its not hugs and kisses every day. Some days I don’t want to chat a lot and other days I am Chatty Kathy lol

He irritates me a lot also. I don’t know why but I don’t like to talk about too much personal things with my family/friends. I feel like when you invite others in your relationships, it doesn’t always end well. Even the smallest thing you can say, can be brought back up later.

A perfect example of this is I told one of my sisters that my husband was lazy years ago. I wasn’t made about it, just mentioned he was a little lazy…this was years ago. She still brings this up for no reason. lol

So here I am, getting back to blogging because I just really need to vent stuff out. Marriage, coworkers, family …

Sit back and enjoy!

Taking It To The Next Step

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I have been involved with my boyfriend for 3yrs on February 3rd. It has been a great relationship. We have had our rocky times but we have gotten through it together…and lasted. Even though I live in Michigan and he is in Chicago and were see each other once or twice a month, we are still together. Through the hurt (Not too much) and tears (Sad I couldn’t see him a lot).

Now I have come to a place where I am tired of not seeing my man every day. I want to sleep, cuddle, eat and play with him just like other couples do with each other. So I have decided its time. Its time to start applying for jobs, getting interviews and moving there so I can see him everyday! I am already in my process. He has obtained a new job as well which makes it even better.

Another big step I am leaning towards is moving in with him. He still lives in the same home he grew up in. He son stays in his old room. The home is paid for so we would go half on utilizes. I will be saving so much than if I rented my own. And you know what? I’m ready! And so is he. We know this is it and we are going to get married someday. I’m so excited I finally found the one and I feel so loved by him and I’m ready to start my life with him also. It’s just a great feeling and I just wanted to share that with you guys!

I’m extra excited for our Anniversary. I thought about doing something simple…Italian dinner and then off to a jazz/blues club. I also thought about getting something sexy for the night time when we everything is over. Maybe even something real slutty from Lover’s Lane. I told my co-worker and she said I was doing too much! How is that doing too much? Dont every woman do something sexy for her man every once in awhile? Maybe cause she is 40yrs old and pretty old school and dont know nothing bout that…prob havent even done anything like that either! Who knows, but Im going to do what I want!!!

And The Drama Continues …

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So my mother decides she doesn’t want to drop “the boyfriend” issue.
She is still not giving up on try and getting me to stay home for the holiday. A couple days after the first half of the drama, I woke up and started getting myself together for work. She begins talking about how she doesn’t like the fact that I am going to Chicago and I need to stay home with my family for Christmas. I told her I spent the holiday with them last year and I would really like to spend with my boyfriend.
She then went on and told me I need to get some self-respect. I couldn’t believe it. She then went on about how I can be with someone that would treat me this way and that she doesn’t want to bury a daughter. I then got loud and said he doesn’t do anything to mistreat me. We had one small argument she heard and how everyone argues. She then told me not to yell. So I said forget it. I let her say what she had to say, even though none of it was true. I guess it was making her feel better to say it.
Later that night, I went to one of my sisters and told her what she said and that I was very hurt that she told me I needed self-respect (I actually got in my car on the way to work and cried). She then said maybe I should just let them meet him and see how a great guy he is and she wouldn’t think the way she does. I actually was FINALLY going to let everyone meet him sometime soon (Yeah, 3yrs is a long time to go) but got so pissed I just said forget it! But maybe she is right. Maybe I will let them meet him cause one thing that will get me straight fighting is to diss my man!
I will let you guys know how that goes!

Let Me Handle This

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No relationship is perfect. Although we would all love to assume so. All couples get into little arguments every once in awhile. Some arguments are bigger than others.
Since my boyfriend and I do not live in the same state we really don’t have much to fight about since we don’t even see each other every day. The most we really fight about is one of us will get angry the other person didn’t call or one is too tired to stay on the phone and talk. Real stupid stuff. Believe me!
Yesterday was a very lazy and laid-back day for him and me. We haven’t spent lot of our time on the phone during the week because I have been working 65hrs a week and when I come home, I just want to go to sleep. So Sunday, we chatted for most of the afternoon. On the phone I learned that Brittany Murphy died by reading someone’s Twitter. I then began looking on the internet for more answers. I told him about it and he couldn’t remember who she was and I was giving him movies and he still didn’t get it.
He then started asking me all these questions and I tried to answer but he kept interrupting me then we got into a big fight on the fact that I’m tired of him ALWAYS interrupting me when I talk and he claims I interrupt him (He ALWAYS ALWAYS interrupt me … not the other way around). We hung p on each other and everything! Lol See, stupid stuff. Lol P.S. we made up 10min later.
Anyways, I woke up this morning getting myself together for work. I was in the kitchen and my mom came in asking me if I am still going to Chicago for Christmas. I answered back of course I am. She said even after all that fighting? I told her it wasn’t a big deal. We were hardly even fighting. She said oh no it wasn’t blah blah blah. She said well just don’t come home crying to me when you have a black eye. I was like woooooow!
I left to get some things out of my room to leave for work. I went into the kitchen for my lunch, and hoping the conversation was over. She had on the news and said how the woman on the TV is missing and her husband probably did it. I asked how you know I wasn’t yelling at him. How do you know I didn’t start the argument? How do you know if we did get into a fight, I wouldn’t throw the first punch?
She then said if I didn’t have such low self esteem I can find a better man who respects me. Excuse me? I have been with this man for 3yrs in February and it makes me so mad when people make WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN MET HIM makes up this crap that he is such a bad guy! And low self esteem, he has been the ONLY person in this world who has ever truly made me feel beautiful. If I have issues about the way I look it’s because of my sisters and my parents. I was hardly called my freakin name in that house when I was growing up. It was fatty this and fat hog that and now that I am older and I can actually love the skin I’m in and have finally found a man who loves the same…please believe I’m not giving that up. He gives me the utmost respect, never has laid a hand on me and no I am not staying because I believe I can’t find someone else but because of that fact that he does make me happy and yeah…we actually FELL IN LOVE! Someone actually fell in love with fatty! Can u believe it!!!
This is another reason why my family has never met my boyfriend. And if they keep acting like they will never meet him until my engagement party!