Valued Life Lesson

I hate losing good friends. I hate losing good friends for stupid reasons. Most importantly, I hate losing good friends because of horrible boyfriends.
I had lots of great friends throughout my college career. One in particular was Shanna. We met my sophomore year and had a lot of things in common. We had the same major and had tons of classes together. I went to dinner with her other friends as well as outings and even to church. She was actually my only Christian friend in college that I could talk to about God. You can defiantly say we were pretty close. We even graduated from college together…sat right next to each other and took pictures.
After college we both went back to our hometowns. We both grew up in Detroit. She still continues to live there but we still lived 15min apart.
Almost 2 years ago, I started my journey on finally getting my license (Yes, I got it at 24yrs old. I was a late bloomer), in which I did, and then started saving my money to buy my 1st car.
Up to this time, my parents and sisters were taking me to and work and they were not happy about it. I was CONSTANTLY getting yelled at because they were tired of taking me everywhere and always asked me again & again when I was going to get my own car. I had only $1500 and got really desperate because I wanted my family off my back so I started asking around to see if anyone was selling cars. Shanna told me about how her new “older” (31yrs old) boyfriend looks for cars and hooks people up all the time. He fixes them up and sales them. So I started calling him and asked him more about this “business” of his because I was now getting desperate for a car and needed help. Because I knew Shanna for 4yrs and I trusted her…I then trusted him.
That was my biggest mistake.
I told her boyfriend of the car I was looking for and my price range. He tells me he finds these cars at auctions and buys, faxes and sales them. He told me if could find me something but at auctions you will need something to put down so he needed $500. Being that I “trusted” him and he knew what he was doing (I knew been to a car auction in my life so had no clue on what went on at these) so I gave it to him. He then tells me he bought a white car (Forgot the name of it) and the price is $1500 and now the mechanic has it and he is doing whatever he needs to do on it.
He then tells me the mechanic needs more money to continue to fix the car. He wants $600. I then tell him I didn’t feel comfortable giving him this amount of money anymore and I haven’t even seen the car yet. So I made him sign a promissory note basically describing the intentions for the funds he is receiving and if I don’t receive a car within another month, I want all my money back. He signs it.
Unfortunately, I never received my car. I started calling him like a stalker ex-girlfriend to give me my money back…even threatened to sue. Her boyfriend continued to lie, lie and lie more about where the car was, that the car was getting still getting fixed, the mechanic broke his hand on something on the car and he couldn’t work (Yeah, I know). He even lied to Shanna and told her he did give the money back to me and she called me right after and I told her hell no!
Shanna felt really bad about the whole situation. She was the one who gave the Go Ahead to his “business”. She said he never did this to anyone before. She then told me she is in a bad spot of being in the middle and doesn’t know how to deal with it. So after that conversation, I stopped calling. It was obvious who wears the pants in that relationship.
So I sued him. He never showed up because he is a coward (And a lot more that I will not go into detail about) so I won. I then could decide how I would get my money back. Of course I wanted to take it from his checks. But I needed all this information in order to do it. And since I didn’t have the info I had to pay more money to do this and that. It just became a drag and a big burden.
Shanna and I friendship began to deteriorate more and more. We stopped talking. Before we stopped completely she even said she will pay me back with her tax returns. I told her that would be nice but that’s not her job. Her man took my money and continued to lie to her face and said he gave it back to me. If you don’t have honesty & trust in a relationship what do you have?
Oh yeah….she also lost her virginity with that piece of shit of a man and became pregnant the very 1st time. So now she is having a baby with a man that aint worth shit! And probably continues to lie to her. A man that will fuck over one of her best friends and don’t even freakin care.
I really wanted to reconcile the friendship I once had with Shanna. Before I deleted my Facebook page, I sent her a message. I wrote how I missed hanging with her and we should do something soon. Of course, it couldn’t be at her place (They lived together) but just go out and hang. She sent me a message back saying she was pregnant again (WTF, this was a girl that never wanted a man to touch her! She has sex one time and can’t stop having babies now, I guess) and of course I was shocked. I told her congrats and gave her my number and for her to please contact me back.
I haven’t changed my number in a year. She hasn’t called yet.
P.S. I eventually got the number of the mechanic that was working on the car (Don’t remember how) and HE actually did hook me up with a great car. It was a 1990 Buick Lasabre and I still drive this car today. I am now looking for something younger! Lol
Unfortunately, I never did get my money back. I just look at it as a very valued life lesson learned…
Never Trust Anyone

He's Out Of My Life (Rated PG-13)

You ever sit down and talk to your girls or guy friends about past relationships and laugh. Laugh about how you could ever talk to that person because now he is such a loser and not doing anything with his life. Or because she is now the slut of the town and you can’t imagine what interest you ever saw in her? Or maybe you have just grown up so much and can’t even imagine that person was your “type”?
I was talking to my girl today and we were talking about past men we have been with and so glad we don’t even talk to them anymore…
Before I met my boyfriend I was talking to a guy. He name is Reggie (And yes, this is his REAL name!) and unfortunately he was not close to looking like Reggie Bush (Haha) but that is not why I liked (And I use this word very lightly) him.
I met him while I was in college at MSU. He was music major and that was the LOVE of his life…and I am POSITIVE it still is!
We had a class or 2 together and he got my AIM from Facebook (Damn Facebook) and started to message me. He continuously asked me out so finally I said…what the heck, lets get a free meal and get this over with (I know…kinda mean…but don’t act like you never did it). The date actually went pretty nice. He was pretty funny, attractive and had a nice smile. So we began “talking”.
Now, during this time is when I graduated from college and before I got the job I have now. So, I was basically broke as hell and looking for employment. And he knew this when we started talking. After we go on a couple of days he then begins to tell me that he wants to go out to dinner more but I declined because of the fact that I didn’t have any funds and I didn’t always want him to pay. He then tells me how I “need to contribute more to the relationship”. I told him what do you want me to do? Go rob a bank? I am unemployed and B R O K E! And then he starts to make little side remarks saying when I do get a job I am going to need to pay him back!
So, we basically stopped going out to dinner. One day he calls me and says if I have any money to go get something to eat at T.G.I.Friday’s. I say noooo. So what does he do? He goes by himself and then CALLS me from the table while he eats!!! Telling me how good the food is and how he can’t get enough of it. I told his ass to call me later!
Another time, he wants me to come back to his apartment. He lived about an hour away from me near Flint, MI. He picks me up and we are on our way. When we finally get to city (I forgot where he lives) and he is hungry. So he wants McDonald’s. He claims he doesn’t have any money on him, so he asks me if I would care if got something from the Dollar Menu for me. It really wasn’t a big deal, but then he got a big ass Big Mac meal for HIMSELF and SUPER-SIZED IT! Lol We got back to his apartment, and he is SMASHING this food! I didn’t even get a damn drink to wash my shit down with! This is when the 1st thought came through this fella may not be the man for Kristen Renee’!
Maybe I could take him being so freakin cheap if he was laying down the pipe…but he wasn’t CLOOOOSE! I love to talk about sex. Nothing surprises me about it and I am pretty open to a lot of things…but he didn’t want to do anything. You know what all he wanted to do? Kiss and FINGER ME! And when I say kiss…I mean closed mouth and with your lips puckered…yes, like a freakin smooch! He told me he didn’t like the taste of another woman’s tongue. I wanted to ask him, “What are you?” What man doesn’t like a good sloppy kiss! He didn’t eat pussy. I asked him about it and he said, “Pee comes from that”. I almost fell out! And he doesn’t have sex either. This is a 25-year-old man! But then it all came clear. Before me, he only had sex 1 time which was 4yrs prior to me and the person he had it with was a virgin also and I guess somebody did something wrong during cause they never fucked after that! So maybe he was just a little inexperienced and shy…and let me tell you something else…a woman can be fingered so much! I had to fake it just so he would stop! I wasnt into it anymore after a certain point, therefore, I would get dry and I guess he being so inexperienced he didnt know (But who can’t grasp that a woman is not moist anymore) and kept doing it. And I would be sore for a week cause he kept jabbing his damn finger in me so damn hard! lol FUCCCK!
He always asked me what would I do if he told me he didn’t want to have sex and I answered that doesn’t mean anything if I really liked the person and I would respect that. But he never came out and said it. I just wished he was honest because the whole situation could have been better and I defiantly wouldn’t have been talking about sex so much either. Lol
We also argued a lot. Over stupid things. He always, always, always had to have the last word on everything and that irritated me more than anything! I don’t like arguing and I dont like confrontation about petty things.
I was telling my friend I cant IMAGINE how it would be if I was still with him. Well, I know I wouldn’t be. I need more and he defiantly wasn’t doing it. And I am not saying I want to be spoiled and taken out to dinner every night, but I don’t want my companion to be cheap. I am not anywhere near being cheap. If I want something I get it, if I have the money to spare. If my boyfriend needs or want something I will get something for him without hesitation. I need to know if I ever do need something I know I can go to my boyfriend and know he got my back. Nor do I need sex. But damn…is it soo good!
Another thing I believe about relationships is both individuals have to be on the same level when it comes to intimacy. Wheather the couple is both virgins or one is a freak out of this world and the other doesnt like to be touched all the time. It has to be the same. Because if it isn’t, I strongly believe that is when one person starts to have “wondering eyes” and will get it else where…if you know what I mean. I know that is not the truth about every single person in the world but it’s very important in a relationship. I have seen some fall apart because of that 3 letter word. Therefore, even if we stayed together it would not have been right. Yes, I can respect if he wanted to want longer…but how long? I love sex and I think it is beautiful and I am happy I am finally with someone that thinks it is has beautiful as I do. My boyfriend and I are very SATISFIED (I know this is random but do anyone remember that scene from Clueless where Dee is saying her man is satisfied even though they dont have sex…just thought of that for some reason lol) and I know he will never stray away hungry…not for that reason!
Anyways…
And I do hope he has found someone who hates all the same thing he does…I think she will be pretty hard to find, but maybe she’s out there…
Anyone have any past relationship’s that you were sooo glad you let get away? Haha
P.S. Another time we went to a Dollar Show movie…he refused to pay. No lie. And it wasnt a big deal. That was all the chunk change my broke self had at the time…so yes I paid $2 for us.

Little Update…

Hello Bloggers! I haven’t written a blog in some time. I feel like its been forever…been really busy working and sleeping.
Today is my 2 & half yr Anniversary with my boyfriend. I guess its not really an anniversary…just the half point. I am probably the most romantic person in the world. I love celebrating anything I can. I was actually really excited we have made it this far and of course I wanted my boyfriend to be as well, but to my dismay, he wasn’t at all. He didn’t care…at all. He said that it didn’t really matter to him and what does matter is the actual date we got together as a couple. Which I can understand…but dang…can I at least get that you are happy for us to get to the half point?
My boyfriend has told me since we got together how he doesn’t wear his feelings on his sleeve..which I have still not gotten used to. I still try and talk mushy and want him to say “I love you” everyday but I know its not going to happen and this was another situation we had a little disagreement about but I am not going to get into that. Its kinda weird for me still but that’s the man I fell in love with I guess…
Anyways, I need to get myself back on track when it comes to my dieting. I kinda fell off for a couple weeks. I got my period (I have REALLY REALLY bad cramps on my period and cant really work out. My doc gave my some scripts so hopefully it helps) and then my knee started killing me because of the hard workouts I was doing.
Even though I have been working out for a couple months now, I feel I am still not getting the results I am aiming for. My Doc has been pushing for me to get on Weight Watchers so I am going to finally take her advice and do it. I have done it in the past and it actually helped. My hesitation towards it was primarily because I don’t want to limit myself and not be hungry. But my biggest problem was, I tend to overeat. So I had to nip in the bud and just do it!
So I will let you guys know how it goes…
No other news than that…didn’t have to cuss out any co-workers lately and my Bi-Polar co-worker has been cool too. Lol

My Friend "Other Friend's"

I had a lot of friends in High School. Some of which I talked to when I graduated and only 1 has stuck with me til this day.
I value friendship very deeply. I have always believed I should have trust, honest and loyalty in that person and she should be able to gain that from me.
For about a year now, I have been noticing my friend going out with her “other friends”. It didn’t really seem to bother me until I realized she never invited me to hang out with her “other friends”. When her and I hung out, it was just she and I and we would go to the bar, out to eat or just hang out at her house. No one else. Nothing big. Just her and I. Which I didn’t mind because we always had a great time together. No drama. Just great alcohol and laughter.
There are so many Social Networks out there today and I was just browsing and found her Twitter site (No, I am not one of those internet stalker chicks that reads people I know Blogs and what-have-you lol) and noticed her saying things that she is going out with old friends, going out to eat and how she had fun doing this and that…and I am thinking, “Why wasn’t I invited? I wasn’t doing anything that night!” I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t annoyed but it did make me a little sad. I just didn’t quite understand why she wasn’t inviting me to all these different events she was going to. I can understand if I was busy, but she never even asked! Maybe she thinks I don’t fit with her “other friends” and she is just trying to hide me…I have no clue. I don’t think I will bring this up with her. I think it will just embarrass me, because maybe I am thinking way too much into it. I don’t want to the whiney girl crying because she doesn’t get invited anywhere. It’s not like that at all.
But, I think it will always be in the back of my mind.
Have you guys ever had this situation happen to you? Different friend clicks even though you are pretty good friends with this person that doesn’t invite you anywhere?

Ex-Lover/Ex-Boyfriend Doesn’t Equal Friends?

Since I was 18, I have had two boyfriend’s (One is including my current boyfriend) and some guys who were just some hook-up’s every once in awhile. Some people I have lost touch with…not on purpose, but because I may have lost their number or other contact information. My ex-boyfriend emails me every once in awhile just to see if I am still alive and to say hi and that’s about it. I have never had a problem keeping in touch with an ex-boyfriend or anyone that I have had some form of an intimate relationship with. It never really bothered me, nor did it concern me thinking the conversation would be awkward or “mixed feelings” would come back.
That being said, I recently (Recent as in yesterday) came into contact with an old “friend” of mine. At the time, I was single and just having fun in meeting new guys. We only went out on an “official” date once, but had numerous conversations and lots of laughs. We had sex a couple times, but I still considered him being my friend. We were not close to being in a relationship, nor had we discussed it, but in my eyes we were chilling.
During our conversation via Yahoo Messenger, he told me how he was so surprised he was hearing from me. I asked why and he said because of our “relationship”. I told him “Well, yeah, we fucked but we still had good conversations and I thought we was cool” and he agreed but then he told me that he felt awkward talking to me and that he normally doesn’t stay in contact with past “lovers” (This was his word. Didn’t think we were making “love” but I guessed he was trying to be polite and not say fuck buddy) and ex-girlfriend’s.
I then thought “Wow” and told him if he felt that way I won’t have to contact him again. He said okay and that was it.
After our conversation, I felt like he stepped on my pinky toe. I thought we were on a more friends’ basis, but I am assuming from that discussion that I was dead wrong. It goes to show you can have such a great time with someone and have great chemistry and conversation and believes you guys are BFF’s…but in the end that person could be thinking something more different than you will ever know.
It sucked for me for a minute, then I was telling my friend Kyle about it and he pulled me back to reality. He told me to basically fuck him and that I have a great man anyways and I shouldn’t be worried about that. Which is so true.
Just wanted to know of my readers out there…Has anyone made a decision they were never going to talk to past “lovers” or ex’s? How did you come up with this decision? And why?

Something New, Something Old, Something Borrowed & Something Blue…

This past Saturday, I went to a cousin of mine wedding. it was very beautiful and people were crying…
It just made me realize how much I want to get married! I am in this “Marriage Zone” and I have no idea on when I am getting out! I just believe when you meet someone and you fully commit to someone…not another person matters. Its like me and him are the only person in the world. And I love this feeling!
I am sure people doubted us and didn’t think it would work because of the long distance. People even started rumors stating he was married…but we have almost made it to 3yrs and are stronger than ever!
I want to be with him for the rest of my life. He’s my soulmate…
I can’t wait until its my turn…

I'm Just Not That Into You

Hey Bloggers! So, now that I have a boyfriend, I guess men just love Ms.Vanilla (LOL). I am a very faithful woman. I love my man; we have a great trustworthy relationship. Therefore, I have not and would never cheat on him. That being said, a guy I used to talk to before my boyfriend has gotten back into contact with me via AIM (AOL Instant Messenger). He came right out and said he wants to see me. He lives about an hour away and just moved into another apartment and wants me to see it. Of course, I know how inappropriate this would be so I politely declined, but said we could, maybe, have lunch one day (Maybe meaning never). I gave my reasons on why…that I wouldn’t like my man going out with another woman and vise versa. He then said I was “tripping”…lol…couldn’t believe it. I kept the conversation and would love for my readers to read and let me know…who REALLY was tripping! And yes, I did use his REAL name and of course I am MsVanilla523. And I want you to notice how he tried to bring up why we stopped talking like that was my fault too! Here it goes
Reggie: so would u come up and hang with ya boi for a bit
MsVanilla523: I don’t think that would be appropriate for someone who is in a committed relationship. I wouldn’t want my man to be chilling with some other chick so I don’t do it …I am sure u know where I am coming from…
Reggie: i do
Reggie: But trust is got to be there
MsVanilla523: Oh it is
Reggie: plus im in a committed relationship as well
so whats the big deal
MsVanilla523: I rather not even put myself in that situation
Reggie: we friends
thats it
MsVanilla523: I know. I am not going to come to your apartment but maybe we can meet for lunch or something when u are down here
Reggie: K but u seem to be trippin about that. its not that deep, atleast not to me. but its cool, nevermind.
MsVanilla523: I am not tripping on anything. I have been with my man for 2 and half yrs. I have never even been out with another man before for even “coffee”. I just don’t…I never had a need to…basically because I have no male friends. He doesn’t have a need to go out with women because he doesn’t have female friends. It’s just how it is. I’m not trying to trip bout it…. that how my relationship is with my boyfriend and I respect that. It never has been an issue before, nor do I feel like making it one now. I said we could go out for lunch when u come into town. Is that not enough? lol
MsVanilla523: I’m just confused now…u don’t eat lunch?
Reggie: yea: i told u its cool
MsVanilla523: Lol Alrighty then
Reggie: u trippin
lol it aint that serious
MsVanilla523: lol ok. I guess I am then.I am not going to explain it again
Reggie: no need to
i understand
MsVanilla523: Oh I WASNT GOING TO lol
Reggie: OKAY GOOD
DUH Thats what i said
MsVanilla523: You are EXACTLY the same as I remember lol
MsVanilla523: Man
Reggie: u r too lol
MsVanilla523: Yeah, I still don’t deal with bullshit
Reggie: what the hell does that mean? u sayin im bullshit. wow, lets not go there. i still dont either, thats why we aint go no further then we did when we kicked it lol
Reggie: but its cool
i do understand
MsVanilla523: Wow
Reggie: u happy and im happy
MsVanilla523: Lol
Reggie: and i respect ur boundaries
as crazy as they seem
so
MsVanilla523: All I said was I don’t want to basically go to your apartment and I would rather just have lunch and this is what I get
MsVanilla523: Reggie, I am trying to be nice
Reggie: u went there
not me
MsVanilla523: And respectful to my boyfriend
Reggie: i am to
MsVanilla523: And I really don’t think you want to go there about we stopped talking cause it would hurt your feelings.
Reggie: Ok
MsVanilla523: I am not going to go there
And wasn’t going to bring that up
So
Reggie: i GOTCHU on that
MsVanilla523: I don’t think u should either
Reggie: bring what up
MsVanilla523: Exactly
Reggie: what will hurt my feelings? u musta forgot
why we stopped talking
MsVanilla523: Nooooooooooooooope. Not at all
I remember everything like it was yesterday
Reggie: well i remember on my end
u wanted to screw and i didnt want to go there LOL
MsVanila523: Lol Nope. I was okay with that and I told you that
Reggie: right……thats why u kept askin for it….lol
MsVanilla523: Yes, it would have been a struggle, but I would have gotten over the “no sex” thing….if you were straight with me about it. You never really told me if you were even celibate! I didn’t like how you didn’t even want to ACKNOWLEDGE we were “dating”. I wasn’t seeing anyone else and you wasn’t and we went out…THATS CALLED DATING….and I just didn’t agree that I had to date someone for 8 MONTHS before we got into a relationship…which you wanted to do! What is that? AND we argued too much. I never argue with anyone that I have talked to in the past…but you, therefore, I thought something want right about that. Plus, I didn’t care u didn’t want to have sex…but you didn’t even want to KISS ME…because you didn’t like the taste of another person’s tongue? WHAT? That’s weird when I can’t even kiss the guy I am dating.
Reggie: True
MsVanilla523: So yeah, So that what I said u are exactly the same. You always wanted to have the last word and always made an argument out of anything which u just did. I just said we could go to lunch and u said I was tripping! It seems that nothing makes u happy for some reason.
So that was the whole conversation. I didn’t quite understand WHY he got so mad. Maybe he really wanted me to come over so he could FINALLY hit this…BUT I got a REAL man so he lost those privileges! I just thought this whole thing was too funny and made me realize how happy I am with my man and how I am sooo glad I am not with him.
P.S. I really don’t think he got a girlfriend…who would want to argue constantly over silly shit…NOT ME!

Miss Independent Woman

Haven’t been on here in a while because I have been soooo busy working and making that money! Lot’s all things have been going on in my life and I will be writing future Blogs to explain…so stay tuned.
I just got finished reading an associate of mine blog and I just became so irritated SO MUCH! It was basically about how women shouldn’t stay with men if the men were not “paying them out”. What is that? So, I guess all women today are all gold diggers?
I don’t understand why women have to fall in this stereotype that a woman can ONLY get into a relationship with a man ONLY if he “balling” and paying all your bills. Yes, I am sure it is nice when you don’t have to worry about your finances, but it comes a time in life where you have to look in the mirror and say to yourself “I’m over 21 and it’s time to grow up”. Get a job (Doesn’t have to be a 6 figure one but something would be nice), get your own car and start making and buying your own things. I don’t see how hard that is. I do it and the “adult life” has been working for me just fine! Hell yes, I would like to sit on my ass and watch my reality TV all damn day but making my OWN money and have my OWN, HARD WORKED MONEY in my bank account…PRICELESS!
And what is wrong if a woman has to pay her man’s phone bill every once in a while? Why can’t a man have a woman who likes to spoil her man? Why is it always the man’s role to pay everything? Where was that written in stone? Please, let me know…
I remember I was in my car listening to a radio station about a clip from a “Dr. Phil” episode. The show was basically about married couples who are going through serious problems and need counseling because they can’t handle the recession the world is in right now and thinking about getting a divorce. Are you serious? I think this is the most difficult time most people have EVER gone through and these are the time where we need to help each other the most. I think it’s immature and some people need to grow up. How bout you put aside your cocky, conceited, stuck –up….whatever you want to call it…attitude and help your men out!